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My deep affection binds me like a long night
My deep affection binds me like a long night

My deep affection binds me like a long night

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Chapter 1 Three years after Jerry lost his memory, Emily decided to die. She had cancer. After swallowing 520 sleeping pills, she quietly turned on the gas in her apartment. When she woke again, Jerry’s father and mother stood by her ICU bed, their expressions icy. “Put it out of your mind,” his mother said. “Even if you kill yourself ten thousand times, my son won’t spare you a second glance.” His father added, “I advise you to sign the divorce papers sooner rather than later. Miss Judith is a Capital City socialite, a perfect match for our family. She’s carrying the heir to the Huo legacy—something a woman of your status could never compare to.” The words pierced her heart like a needle. Three years ago, Jerry had loved her to the bone. He once drove nine hundred kilometers to the peak of a mountain just to pick her a rare alpine rose, all because she’d lingered on a photo of one for three seconds at an exhibition. When her menstrual cramps were unbearable, he’d abandon multi-billion-dollar deals, rush out into a downpour to scour every pharmacy in the capital for pain relievers, then stay up all night brewing her a soothing tea—only to catch pneumonia himself from the fever it induced. Later, when she wanted to go abroad as a doctor in a warzone, Jerry defied his family’s fierce opposition. For three days and nights, he faced the family council, willing to be disowned, just so he could join the special forces and follow her. When he appeared before her in that crisp, tailored uniform, she cried. He’d just kissed her forehead gently, holding her close, and whispered, “Don’t cry. It hurts me to see you like this.” They married, got their license, and became the couple everyone in the special forces envied. She thought their happiness would last forever. But during their final rescue mission, she was taken hostage by rioters, her body strapped with explosives. With fifty-two seconds left on the timer, Jerry shot himself without hesitation. Covered in blood, he offered to exchange himself for her, mouthing the words “I love you” soundlessly across the chaos. An explosion. Life and death separated. Every time she remembered that scene, even breathing was agony. She guarded his empty grave, only to learn he wasn’t dead. The news that followed was worse: he’d lost his memory and fallen in love with Miss Judith. For three years, he watched her heartbreak with cold indifference, pouring all his former tenderness into Judith. He loved Judith the way he once loved her. She didn’t know if this was heaven’s mercy or its cruelty. She had begged. She had suffered. She had tried to end it all. Over one thousand and ninety-five days and nights, she’d shed countless tears. But Jerry never even looked up. At first, he was cold as a stranger. Later, his disgust for her grew, culminating in getting Judith pregnant. Hurried footsteps sounded at the door. Emily looked up to see a cold, aloof man walk in. He wore a black suit, the top button of his shirt undone to reveal a glimpse of his elegant collarbone. Jerry gripped her chin, the force so great it brought tears to her eyes. His gaze was ice. “Was it you who turned on the gas? Do you have any idea Judith is pregnant?” Her voice was hoarse. “I didn’t know Miss Judith would be at the villa.” “Don’t play the victim with me,” he said coldly, a dangerous glint in his eyes. “Judith is the love of my life, my fiancée. I’m warning you—don’t get any ideas.” The man who once loved her deeply now looked at her with nothing but distance and disdain. Just three years ago, a single glance from her would make his ears turn red with shyness. Holding her hand made him sweat with nerves. Kissing her made his whole body tremble. He had willingly walked to his death to save her. She had held onto the love in his eyes for three long years. But now… those same eyes held only revulsion. A cold numbness spread through Emily’s body. Her eyes felt dry and scratchy, but not a single tear would fall. She opened her mouth, her throat tight. “Jerry, let’s get a divorce.” The air hung silent for a few seconds. Jerry suddenly let out a cold laugh, a mocking curve lifting the corner of his mouth. “Trying to trick me into a divorce again, so you can drug my coffee? Emily, using the same trick twice? Aren’t you tired?” “No, this time it’s real—” “Enough,” Jerry cut her off impatiently. “Judith had a scare. I need to take care of her. I don’t have time for your nonsense.” Watching his retreating back, Emily’s eyes stung. The man who once loved her to the bone wouldn’t even spare her a moment of his time now. Not long after they left, the duty nurse came to collect payment. “Miss Emily, here is your medical bill. The total is ten thousand.” Emily glanced at her bank balance and felt a pang of bitter sorrow. “I can’t pay that all at once. Could I owe it? I’ll transfer the money tomorrow.” The nurse hesitated but went to start the approval process.

Chapter 1 of My deep affection binds me like a long night

Three years after Jerry lost his memory, Emily decided to die.

She had cancer. After swallowing 520 sleeping pills, she quietly turned on the gas in her apartment.

When she woke again, Jerry’s father and mother stood by her ICU bed, their expressions icy. “Put it out of your mind,” his mother said. “Even if you kill yourself ten thousand times, my son won’t spare you a second glance.”

His father added, “I advise you to sign the divorce papers sooner rather than later. Miss Judith is a Capital City socialite, a perfect match for our family. She’s carrying the heir to the Huo legacy—something a woman of your status could never compare to.”

The words pierced her heart like a needle.

Three years ago, Jerry had loved her to the bone.

He once drove nine hundred kilometers to the peak of a mountain just to pick her a rare alpine rose, all because she’d lingered on a photo of one for three seconds at an exhibition.

When her menstrual cramps were unbearable, he’d abandon multi-billion-dollar deals, rush out into a downpour to scour every pharmacy in the capital for pain relievers, then stay up all night brewing her a soothing tea—only to catch pneumonia himself from the fever it induced.

Later, when she wanted to go abroad as a doctor in a warzone, Jerry defied his family’s fierce opposition. For three days and nights, he faced the family council, willing to be disowned, just so he could join the special forces and follow her. When he appeared before her in that crisp, tailored uniform, she cried. He’d just kissed her forehead gently, holding her close, and whispered, “Don’t cry. It hurts me to see you like this.”

They married, got their license, and became the couple everyone in the special forces envied.

She thought their happiness would last forever.

But during their final rescue mission, she was taken hostage by rioters, her body strapped with explosives.

With fifty-two seconds left on the timer, Jerry shot himself without hesitation. Covered in blood, he offered to exchange himself for her, mouthing the words “I love you” soundlessly across the chaos.

An explosion. Life and death separated.

Every time she remembered that scene, even breathing was agony.

She guarded his empty grave, only to learn he wasn’t dead. The news that followed was worse: he’d lost his memory and fallen in love with Miss Judith.

For three years, he watched her heartbreak with cold indifference, pouring all his former tenderness into Judith. He loved Judith the way he once loved her.

She didn’t know if this was heaven’s mercy or its cruelty.

She had begged. She had suffered. She had tried to end it all. Over one thousand and ninety-five days and nights, she’d shed countless tears.

But Jerry never even looked up. At first, he was cold as a stranger. Later, his disgust for her grew, culminating in getting Judith pregnant.

Hurried footsteps sounded at the door.

Emily looked up to see a cold, aloof man walk in. He wore a black suit, the top button of his shirt undone to reveal a glimpse of his elegant collarbone.

Jerry gripped her chin, the force so great it brought tears to her eyes. His gaze was ice. “Was it you who turned on the gas? Do you have any idea Judith is pregnant?”

Her voice was hoarse. “I didn’t know Miss Judith would be at the villa.”

“Don’t play the victim with me,” he said coldly, a dangerous glint in his eyes. “Judith is the love of my life, my fiancée. I’m warning you—don’t get any ideas.”

The man who once loved her deeply now looked at her with nothing but distance and disdain.

Just three years ago, a single glance from her would make his ears turn red with shyness. Holding her hand made him sweat with nerves. Kissing her made his whole body tremble.

He had willingly walked to his death to save her. She had held onto the love in his eyes for three long years.

But now… those same eyes held only revulsion.

A cold numbness spread through Emily’s body. Her eyes felt dry and scratchy, but not a single tear would fall.

She opened her mouth, her throat tight. “Jerry, let’s get a divorce.”

The air hung silent for a few seconds.

Jerry suddenly let out a cold laugh, a mocking curve lifting the corner of his mouth.

“Trying to trick me into a divorce again, so you can drug my coffee? Emily, using the same trick twice? Aren’t you tired?”

“No, this time it’s real—”

“Enough,” Jerry cut her off impatiently. “Judith had a scare. I need to take care of her. I don’t have time for your nonsense.”

Watching his retreating back, Emily’s eyes stung.

The man who once loved her to the bone wouldn’t even spare her a moment of his time now.

Not long after they left, the duty nurse came to collect payment. “Miss Emily, here is your medical bill. The total is ten thousand.”

Emily glanced at her bank balance and felt a pang of bitter sorrow. “I can’t pay that all at once. Could I owe it? I’ll transfer the money tomorrow.”

The nurse hesitated but went to start the approval process.

Outside, the nurses’ whispers carried.

“Tsk, tsk. What’s the use of being pretty if you can just be tossed aside like that? Can’t even afford ten thousand for treatment.”

“I thought Mr. Jerry was crazy about her. Remember when those thugs harassed her? He’d just had surgery but went and got into a fight for her, came back with a dozen new stitches. Or when her boss framed her? He dropped deals worth hundreds of millions to back her up, almost turned the hospital upside down…”

Hearing those heart-wrenching words, she closed her eyes briefly, a light, self-mocking laugh escaping.

*Emily, stop being a fool.*

*Even if you end your life, who would care? He doesn’t love you anymore. Better to go somewhere no one knows you and enjoy whatever time you have left.*

She handled the discharge procedures alone, then took a taxi to the immigration office.

“Hello. I’d like to cancel all my domestic records and apply for emigration.”

Given how her pursuit of Jerry had once been the talk of the capital, the clerk clearly recognized her. She hesitated before speaking. “Are you sure? Once canceled, you’ll effectively cease to exist in the national system here.”

Emily took a deep breath. “I’m sure.”

From this day forward, she and Jerry would go their separate ways.

Who he married, who he spent his life with—none of it concerned her anymore.

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