In the middle of a kiss, my boyfriend pulled away.
He said he'd split his lip cracking crawfish.
When I told Bonnie Henson about it,
she fingered the diamond tooth cap she'd just had set and blew a ring of smoke.
“Probably bit down on something wild out there and wrecked his mouth. I always told you he was no good.”
I slid the ashtray toward her：“He wouldn't. He swore I was the only one.”
The day the office let us off early, I came home and pushed open the door.
Antony sucked in a breath and shouted.
“Get rid of that damn thing.”
And Bonnie had her arms locked around him, laughing like she'd lost her mind.
“If it doesn't hurt a little, how will you ever learn?”
A pain tore through my chest.
……
“What's the fuss about?” Antony's brow barely creased.
He grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around Bonnie.
No panic. No scramble to explain. As if I were the one being unreasonable.
Bonnie poked her head out from the blanket.
Not a shred of shame. She looked straight at me and curled the corner of her mouth.
“Philippa, since when do you walk without making a sound?”
“Scared me half to death. I thought someone had broken in.”
She pouted and burrowed closer into Antony's arms.
I stared at the man I had loved for five years, searching his face for even a trace of guilt.
There was nothing.
Antony pulled on a shirt and walked toward me, reaching for my hand.
“Why are you home so early?”
“I thought you said the office had you working late tonight.”
He reeked of Bonnie's perfume and the raw, sour smell of sex.
My stomach turned.
I shook his hand off：“Don't touch me.”
My teeth were clenched and my voice shook no matter how hard I tried to steady it.
“Antony, what exactly were you two doing?”
He sighed, with that look he got when he thought I was making a scene.
“Philippa, relax. Bonnie hit a rough patch, she got upset, had too much to drink.”
“I was just comforting her.”
Comforting her.
Naked.
I looked at that familiar face and felt like I was staring at a stranger.
Three years ago I came down with a high fever. He ran through half the city in a downpour just to bring me back the rice porridge I always asked for. When the nurse slid the IV needle into the back of my hand, he was the one whose eyes turned red.
“Pippa, I will never let you be hurt. Not even a little.”
Those words still echoed.
And now, right in front of me, he was holding my best friend in his arms.
“Does being drunk require taking your clothes off?” I pointed at the tooth cap on the floor, and the tears I'd been holding back finally fell. “Antony, do you think I'm stupid?”
Bonnie let out a soft laugh behind him.
“Oh, Philippa. That temper of yours, same as always.”
“Antony works himself to the bone every day, and you can't even lighten his load. All you do is keep tabs on him.”
“Men need to unwind once in a while.”
She took her time picking her clothes up off the floor and putting them on.
“We're all adults here. No need to act like the sky's falling.”
I turned and looked straight at this woman who'd sworn, over and over, that she'd always have my back.
“Bonnie, have you no shame?”
Antony's expression went cold.
He stepped in front of Bonnie, blocking her from my sight.
“Philippa, watch your mouth.”
“Bonnie's always looked out for you. Is this how you treat her?”
Tears blurred everything, but I could see exactly whose side he was on.
“My attitude? You two pull this disgusting shit right under my nose—”
“and you're telling me to watch my mouth?”
Antony's jaw tightened.
