4: 4
4.
Inside, the light from the overhead bulbs was soft.
The cold air from the AC cleared my head.
The noodles came out, and they smelled wonderful.
"Eat. I noticed you barely touched anything back there."
He ladled the noodles into a small bowl and set it in front of me.
I held the bowl, looking at him, wanting to ask.
"Eat first. When you're done, I'll explain."
Two bites in, the tears came without my permission.
I hadn't eaten hot noodle soup this good in so, so long.
Edwin didn't like it. He thought it was cheap, poor-people food.
After I got together with him, I never had it, not once.
Maybe I really was starving. I cleaned out the whole bowl.
"Thank you. That's twice tonight you've helped me."
He smiled. "Sonia, after all these years, you're still so distant with me."
He poured me a cup of hot water. Steam rose, and the light fell across his face.
For a second I felt like I knew that face so well.
I gave a small smile. "Edwin doesn't like me getting too close to other people. You're his friend. I don't want any misunderstanding."
His smile faded.
"But he gets that close to your friend. That doesn't bother you?"
I froze.
Edwin was fiercely possessive and controlling.
Wearing the title of his girlfriend, I had to obey him.
But he had lost every boundary with Nora long ago.
I took a sip of water and gave a bitter little smile, saying nothing.
"Sonia, I shouldn't say this."
Aaron paused.
But it was as if he'd made up his mind about something.
"Sonia, but I'm going to say it anyway."
I looked into his damp eyes.
"Do you really not understand what Nora meant?"
I thought back to what Nora had said at the dinner.
"I, I don't know which part you mean."
Aaron looked at me, and something else surfaced in his eyes.
If I wasn't mistaken, it looked like pity.
He took out his phone and played the video of Nora whining for Edwin to feed her the grilled sausage.
Only then did I notice, in the crowd of laughing people,
that flustered version of me, forced to smile along, looked so helpless.
"It was just a grilled sausage. Nora was being greedy, that's all. It's nothing."
Aaron looked at me, his expression very complicated.
"Sonia, that line of hers can't be explained away as her being greedy."
"You saw the sausage on top of the table. You didn't see the one under the table."
He was talking faster now, with an edge of urgency.
"Aaron, you've lost me. What's the difference between the sausage on the table and the one under it?"
"I know you're worried about me. But I can't get angry over one line from her."
By the end, my voice had gone quiet.
Right. Edwin could dump me on the street in the middle of the night.
What right did I have to be angry?
Aaron looked at me, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.
"Sonia, I'm not like them. Even if Edwin finds out one day, I'd still tell you the truth."
He opened his mouth, but he couldn't get it out.
He swallowed a few mouthfuls of ice water and still couldn't say it.
In the end he handed me the phone.
He pointed at a video and said, "This one. See for yourself."
One second was all it took, and I understood.
I finally understood what everyone at that dinner, and Edwin and Nora's laughter, had really meant.
