Now here he was, telling me they hadn't crossed any lines.
Seraphine's sendings kept coming through the howl-network, one after another.
Tilting her head in deference to the pack elders, gathering the moon-blessing pouches offered for the new bond, pouring the ceremonial mead, the Ashmore patriarch's toast beneath the rising moon...
Before I even realized it, all of this had gone far past what Kael had promised me. She was only supposed to walk through the entrance of the Ceremony Grove. Nothing more.
It wasn't until the very last part, the scattering of moonflower petals over the pack, that Kael's mind-link sending finally trickled in.
【Are you at the den-lodge yet? Wait a while longer in the side chamber. Sera's having fun, so she went ahead and did the rest of the ceremony too.】
【Don't be upset about it. Just think of it as making up for how you made her cry earlier.】
The side chamber was only two doors away from the ceremony grove.
Even so, he wouldn't come look in on me. Not once. His scent never once drifted toward my door, that cold cedar and tarnished copper that used to find me before he did.
I didn't answer Kael.
I just cropped a corner of the crystal-image Seraphine had spread across the network, the one showing my sacred feast-offering already smashed beyond recognition, and sent it to him.
【Why did you let her touch my feast-offering.】
【It's just a feast-cake, what's the big deal, I'll have the lodge-keepers go bake another one.】
I bit my lip until it went white. Somewhere beneath my ribs my wolf went very still, the way she went still when a wound was too deep to howl over.
【Everything you promised me. Have you forgotten all of it?】
Why, when I was already this far past disappointment, did my heart still hurt this much?
The mating gown I'd searched more than a dozen den-halls to find, the one Seraphine secretly tried on and stretched out of shape. Kael had said, what's the big deal, just get another one.
The little moonlit garden grove I'd fallen in love with, the one Seraphine quietly swapped for a grand, dreamy ceremony hall. Kael had said, do what she wants, she has better taste.
By the very end of the ceremony planning, my one and only request was that I bake the sacred feast-offering with my own hands.
I'd told Kael this was the biggest wish I had as a hearth-keeper.
Seraphine hadn't returned to our territory yet, then.
Kael had stood outside my soon-to-open den-kitchen and gently tweaked my nose.
"My baby's so easy to please."
"Fine. When the day comes, I'll keep an eye on every single guest at the mating ceremony. Every wolf has to clean their plate and then howl an eight-hundred-word rave for our master hearth-keeper."
I laughed and threw myself into his arms.
"Such a smooth talker!"
I dragged the progress bar of the crystal-image back again and again, watching that short clip.
The feast-offering I'd come to the lodge early to finish had been torn to pieces.
Before anyone had even taken a bite, Seraphine smeared it across the face of one of Kael's packmates.
The whole gathering burst into laughing and shoving, wiping honeyed frosting on each other.
My wish, trampled underfoot, smeared across the wall, scraped into the kitchen scraps. The warm honey and browned sugar of it, my own scent baked into every layer, ground into the floor by careless paws.
The reply on the other end paused for a few seconds.
The next second, it drove straight into my heart again.
【Willow Thornheart, a person shouldn't be so ungrateful.】
【It's just a feast-cake, why make such a fuss. Not a single one of your kin showed up, even the she-wolves at your side were ones Sera rounded up to save you from an empty grove.】
The scar was ripped open all over again.
I jabbed at the sending-stone so hard it clicked and clicked.
【The reason my pack wouldn't come. Aren't you the one who knows best?】
The other end went silent.
The pain I'd buried settled back down into my lower belly, dragged up by the memory.
That day. Blood everywhere on the floor, a tearing, ripping agony.
On instinct, I'd sent the mind-link call to the one I trusted most.
The instant the link connected, a spoiled, shrill she-wolf's voice was already yelling.
"Hey, hey, big busy Alpha, you promised to run with us all day today, cut it off, cut it off, no answering the link!"
Along with the clanging, festive racket of the ceremony procession, and then the severing hum of the link being cut.
I lost a pup.
When I woke, I was lying in the Healing Hall.
The first face I saw wasn't Kael's. It was my den-mate's.
She was the one who'd caught my scent gone wrong, found me collapsed at home after her patrol, carried me to the Healers, and pressed her paw-mark to the treatment consent for me too.
I'd known her less than a moon then. She took the risk and signed her name for me.
