I CLOSED MY EYES, the weight of my own words still fresh in my mind. I’d seen the flash of hurt on my son’s face when I told him that his father was gone. I knew it was a lie, but I just wanted to end the questions, to stop the endless hope in his eyes for something I knew I couldn’t give him.
To me, Alpha Damon was as good as dead. Or so I thought.
Later that night, I couldn’t sleep. The memory of my son’s sad, confused expression replayed in my mind, filling me with guilt. The next morning, I tried to cheer him up.
“Honey, do you want to go outside? It’s Saturday. We can go to the park,” I said with a forced smile. Aaron loves to play with his friends. But today, he seems not really in the mood to do that. And I'm the only one who would be blamed for that.
“No, mommy. I'm fine here,” Aaron answered as he looked at the window.
I sighed, but still not giving up to make him happy. “Hmm, you told me the other day that you want a new toy. We can buy it now,” I said.
Aaron shook his head. “I don't want it anymore…” he answered, almost coming out as a whisper.
I blinked and bit my lower lip. I don't know what to do to cheer him up anymore. It was my fault! But I just want him to not get hurt.
“Then… What do you want, honey? Tell me so mommy can give it to you,” I told him.
He pouted. “I want my daddy,” he instantly answered as if he didn't think that much about it anymore.
I felt like my face had been splashed with cold water. I stiffened and stared at my son's face if he's telling the truth. But he is… and I'm afraid that I cannot give it to him.
Aaron stared at me longer before he shook his head. “Nevermind, mom. Don't mind me. I'll just go to my room…” he said and then stood up from his seat.
I nodded my head and forced myself again to smile. “O-Okay. Just call me if you need anything,” I said and watched him go to his room.
As soon as he's out of my sight, I lost it. The threatening tears from my eyes slowly streamed down on my face. Am I a bad mother for lying to my own son like this? Did I make the right decision? I don't know anymore!
I thought Aaron already forgot about his father. He went back to his usual self the next day. He became livelier again and I was so happy but at the back of my mind, I still couldn't help but to get worried.
“Mommy,” he whispered before bed, looking up at me with an expression that tugged at my heart.
“Yes, honey?” I asked as I caressed his smooth hair.
“Are you sure… he’s really gone? What was he like?”
My smile went frozen and didn't know what to say all of a sudden. He's pertaining to his dad. Here I thought he already forgot about it but he's asking about him again.
I forced a smile, tucking him into bed. “It’s… complicated, honey. Just… don’t think about it.”
“But…” He was about to say something but he was too sleepy to utter a word already. And seconds later, Aaron fell into a deep slumber.
That night, as I lay in the darkness, I couldn’t take it anymore. My love for my son was stronger than my pride. It was time to do something I had never wanted to do.
I reached for my phone, scrolling through old contacts until I found the number I’d once deleted, only to restore at the last moment. Alpha Damon. I hesitated, my fingers trembling over the screen.
He probably doesn’t use this number anymore, I thought. It’s been so long.
Yet I dialed, my heart pounding as I waited, almost praying he wouldn’t pick up. But on the fourth ring, he answered.
“K-Kierra? Is this really you?” His voice was deep, a bit raspy, as if he hadn’t expected to hear from me again.
I took a breath, struggling to keep my voice steady. “I’m not calling for myself,” I said, each word like a piece of broken glass. “I’m calling because our son needs you.”
There was a long pause. I could almost hear him processing the words, the years that had passed between us thick in the silence. Finally, he spoke, his voice barely a whisper. “Our son?”
My chest tightened. “Yes, Alpha Damon. Our son. He… he needs to know you’re alive.”
Another pause, then the line went silent as he hung up. I felt a bitter sting, my hand clenched around the phone. I should have expected as much. He was probably too far gone, too changed from the man I’d once known to come back for us.
But the next morning, as I was putting breakfast on the table, there was a knock at the door. My heart skipped a beat. I brushed my hair back, quickly tidying myself before opening the door.
There, on my doorstep, stood Damon.
He looked different. The wild, almost feral strength I remembered in him had softened. His eyes were red, as though he hadn’t slept, and there was an unmistakable vulnerability in his expression.
“A-Alpha Damon.” My voice was barely a whisper, both surprised and unsure of how to feel.
“Kierra.” He swallowed, his voice rough. “I… I’m here.”
“I… never knew that you would find us this fast,” I admitted.
“The moon goddess must've favored my side this time. I've been looking for you! You and our son… but I always failed. I felt like I was losing my own sanity when I woke up one day without seeing you,” he said, his eyes bloodshot as if he's stopping himself to cry.
I blinked before looking away. As much as I wanted to believe his words, I couldn't. Because I know that it was all just a lie. He shouldn't act like this!
When I was about to say something, I stiffened when I heard the familiar voice of my son.
At that moment, my son, still in his pajamas, came around the corner, his small face brightening with curiosity. “Mommy? Who’s that?”
