Listening to Lorenzo pour out those sickeningly tender words from behind the balcony doors, the tears spilled over before I could stop them, and I clamped a hand over my mouth and fled the estate.
I don't know how long I sat there by the service door, beneath the cold eyes of a soldier who pretended not to see me, before a bowl of scalding broth hit me square in the chest, the heat sharp enough to make me flinch.
Gianna had changed her clothes at some point, and she came out into the courtyard swinging a bottle of aged liquor by the neck.
"Serafina, did you like the sounds we were making just now? That sorry little back of yours, scurrying off. You really did look like a dog."
So she'd seen me.
"I hear your body can't handle the mechanism in your chest. Coughing up blood every day, that ache where your heart should be. It must be awful. You can't even enjoy a man's love properly. Me, I'm different." Her fingers drifted up to the pendant at her throat, stroking the small ridge of scar beneath it. "We can try the rougher things and it's no trouble at all. You may be useless, but that heart of yours works just fine. I felt very good just now."
"And you actually dared to marry my uncle? Thought you could steal a piece of his affection for yourself? Keep dreaming. I'm the only one in his heart. You were nothing but a culture dish I used to grow a heart."
"Oh, and here's the thing." She let the pendant fall and smiled. "That day wasn't actually the first time your mother caught me and your betrothed together. The old hag had the nerve to call me shameless, so I made a point of having her dragged over, and I took your betrothed right in front of her. Worked her up until her heart gave out. And when it came time to give her your heart, I pretended my chest hurt. Sure enough, my uncle couldn't bear it. He wouldn't wait a single second. He gave your heart to me instead."
"Oh, that's right. You were unconscious at the time, so you probably didn't see your mother's face. She had her arm stretched out so far, eyes bulging, like she wanted to strangle the both of us. Pity. All she could do was watch, and in the end she died of pure rage. Serves her right. She cursed me, so I took her life!"
I stared, my eyes wide in disbelief, unable to fathom that this was the truth of how my mother's heart had failed.
The courtyard went very still. Even the soldier at the wall had stopped pretending. My body wouldn't stop shaking. How could these people murder my mother and then speak of it as though it were nothing more than tribute owed?
I raised my hand high, but Gianna got there first, dumping the liquor over her own head and breaking into a scream.
The next second, someone shoved me hard to the ground.
Lorenzo held Gianna against his chest and turned to roar at me:
"Serafina, what do you think you're doing?!"
Gianna spoke through her sobs:
"Uncle, I just saw that my aunt hadn't eaten, so I wanted to bring her something to eat and drink. But she said I'd worked her mother to death, knocked the food out of my hands, and threw liquor all over me. If you'd come any later, she would have killed me."
"I made that broth and brought that bottle with my own hands. I know it isn't anything fine enough for a feast like this, but it came from the heart. I even burned my hand on the boiling water..."
Lorenzo's face went dark in an instant. His sleeves were still rolled to the forearm, those surgeon's hands bare in the cold light, and not one man in the courtyard moved.
"Serafina, your mother's heart gave out because she couldn't take the strain. She had no business meddling in her children's affairs. Before a union, it's perfectly normal for one side to have a change of heart. Gianna felt the dishonor of you going unfed. Fine, you don't appreciate it. But how can you pin the blame on her?!"
I listened to him say these unthinkable things, disbelieving.
"Lorenzo, tell me. How did my mother really die? Did you truly give my heart to her?"
Lorenzo frowned.
"Of course. Didn't I already tell you? Your mother had a rejection after the surgery. Cutting a heart from one chest and setting it in another carries risk. That's the simplest truth there is. You don't even grasp that much, and now you'd insult Gianna's sincerity in front of the whole house. Apologize to her. Now."
A laugh came out of me, and with it, tears.
So this was the man I'd loved for seven years. The Golden Blade, who could read a body better than any priest could read a soul, and he wouldn't give me even one honest word.
As if to punish myself, I picked up the toppled bottle beside me, and never minding the shattered rim, I poured every drop that was left into my mouth, letting the glass cut my lips.
The moment the burning liquor went down my throat, the violent pain in my chest left me swaying on my feet.
