2: 2
2
Outside the theater, Samuel came back from buying tickets with two drinks.
It was the second day of my period, and I reached for the hot drink, but he handed it to Hope first.
My hand hung there in midair before I could pull it back, and the cold that touched it sent a sharp ache through my lower belly.
Seeing my face still cold, Samuel leaned in close to my ear, his voice dropped very low.
"Didn't you always used to nag me to take you to the movies? Now that I'm here, who's this sour face for?"
Then he grabbed my wrist and dragged me straight into the screening room.
"Hope, sit here. You're on your period, you feel the cold. The VIP seat comes with heating. This one's perfect for you."
He eased Hope carefully into the seat.
"Samuel, I think Renee's on her period too."
Hope offered the reminder with pretend sweetness.
Samuel gave a scoff, not even lifting his eyelids.
"There's only one VIP seat left. Besides, she runs hot, tough as a man. She doesn't get all these delicate little problems."
The cramping in my belly rose up together with the cold in my chest.
All I felt was a deep helplessness, and I moved quietly to an ordinary seat off to the side.
Only when I could see what was playing did I realize it was a horror film.
Eight years together, and Samuel knew perfectly well I had a history of heart trouble, that I couldn't take the slightest scare.
I was about to demand an answer when my eyes landed on Hope, her whole face full of anticipation, and in that instant I understood everything.
Back then I'd combed through reviews, worked out a whole plan of films across every genre to see with him.
But every time, he couldn't last five minutes before making some excuse and rushing out, and I could only follow him out in silence.
The ticket stubs piled up, and yet I couldn't tell the full plot of a single one.
At the time I stupidly thought he just wasn't the type who liked movies. Turned out he only didn't like watching them with me.
When the film started, I hardly dared open my eyes.
But the dread and dead weight pressing in around me got to me anyway, and my heart throbbed in wave after wave of pain.
I could breathe less and less, clutching my chest, my body swaying like it might go down, when a man's strong hand caught me just in time.
Something in me eased a little. I thought that in the end he did care about me after all.
But the next second, he turned his body to block me and lowered his voice to snap.
"If you're going to have an attack, do it somewhere else. Hope's easily frightened, don't scare her!"
With trembling hands I pushed my heart pills into my mouth and fled toward the exit.
On the way back, my mom called.
"Renee, how have you been lately? It's been so long since you called me."
My face had been calm, but the moment I heard her voice, I couldn't hold it together.
"You've been frail since you were little. Back then I lined up such a good job for you in Harbor City, close to home so someone could look after you, and you wouldn't take it. You just had to go off to that little town with that boy."
"All these years, and still nothing to show for it. Another year almost gone, look at it, what kind of situation is this…"
The first time I saw Samuel, he was standing on the stage as the freshman representative giving a speech.
His features were clean and handsome, his nose straight, and when he looked up at us in the audience, his gaze was gentle and sure.
I fell for him at first sight and chased him for two whole years.
Fetching hot water, picking up his packages and his takeout, never missing a thing, circling him every day like a little tagalong.
After graduation, I didn't want that relationship to just fizzle out, so I followed him without a second thought a thousand miles away to Frostpine City.
My heart was full of hope. I thought we'd get married soon.
When we first joined the company, Samuel said he was afraid of people talking and it hurting his prospects. He wouldn't even make our relationship public.
I wasn't happy about it, but because I loved him, I gave in.
It wasn't until a coworker started trying to set me up with someone that he finally couldn't sit still and rushed to stake his claim.
I wanted to get married. Samuel had always known that.
But no matter how many times I brought it up, he'd say to wait a little longer.
Wait until he got promoted and got a raise. Wait until he saved up the down payment.
That waiting stretched out into six years.
I was done waiting.
I steadied myself and said, "Mom, there's a project team being posted to Harbor City. My boss recommended me for it, and I agreed. I'll be back as soon as the Spring Festival break starts, and then I can be with you every day from now on."
Mom was so thrilled she nearly shrieked, checking with me three times in a row.
Only after she got a solid yes did she remember to ask, "What about Samuel? What are the two of you going to do?"
I said with a bitter smile, "I didn't tell him."
The other end of the line went quiet for a few seconds.
"As long as you're coming home. As long as you're coming home."
"That Samuel, he's not bad-looking, but what else about him is good enough for our Renee?"
I'd barely hung up when a text alert chimed.
