Three minutes into a show I was streaming on my husband's premium account before bed, the screen kicked me offline.
I fired off a string of question marks at him.
William's icon showed him online the whole time, but it took two hours before he answered.
"Can't you just renew it? Is this really too much trouble for me to ask?"
"We'll talk when I'm back from Charleston. Managing it from out of town is a pain. Going to sleep."
I closed the chat and tapped back into the trending post I'd been scrolling.
【Two and a half years since we split, and I'm still using my ex-husband's account.】
"Logged on to watch a variety show and found my ex's account was still active, our couple username still unchanged."
"I went and asked him about it. He said it was fine, told me to keep using it without worrying."
"Just got kicked off, worked up the nerve to message my ex, and he said the password was my birthday!"
Someone commented:
"His handle is DreamingWilliam and the blogger's name is Immy. I'm dying, they're perfect."
"Are you two in the same city? Go ask him out, he's obviously waiting for you!"
The blogger replied.
"He's in Charleston for a business trip. We just made plans to grab dinner."
And right then,
'DreamingWilliam' messaged me.
"Babe, having dinner with a friend I haven't seen in ages. What should I wear?"
……
I stared at William's username and profile picture for a full minute,
and for once I didn't fire back a giddy reply in a heartbeat.
William used this same handle on every platform.
I used to tease him about it, asking if he wanted the whole world to know that William Simmons had a dream.
He'd only ever laugh,
and then ruffle my hair.
My eyes stung as I rolled them, and I typed my answer.
"Didn't all your friends from Charleston move to New York? Who's even still down there?"
The next second, a video call came through.
William swung the camera around to show me the whole hotel room,
then flipped the view back to himself.
"Here. Inspect away."
"It's just a neighbor from when I was a kid. We reconnected out of nowhere today. Don't you trust me?"
He was lounging on the bed, one hand draped over his forehead.
I pulled my gaze back to the ring box sitting on the nightstand.
William had gone on this trip without his wedding ring.
He'd never once forgotten it.
There was a time it poured during work, and because he'd left it behind, he actually ran home through the rain,
soaked through, grinning at me like an idiot.
"I know your husband's lazy, but I still know I have to make you feel secure."
And now he'd thrown that security away.
My throat felt dry.
"I do trust you."
"Wear the white one I bought you. That one looks good."
William nodded, oblivious, and added in a tone that seemed offhand.
"Logging that account in from out of town gets it frozen too easily, and it's a hassle to deal with, so I just couldn't be bothered. Freda Thomas, you know me best. I hate dealing with that stuff."
I didn't answer him.
Before this, I'd thought I really had gotten used to it.
Used to him never being the first to reply to my messages.
Used to him never swinging by to pick me up or drop me off at work.
Used to him never bothering to remember the things I liked.
Because William hated hassle.
But what if his fear of hassle was only ever about me?
I looked up and asked, out of nowhere.
"Is Charleston fun? Maybe I'll come down for a few days too?"
"No!"
William shot upright, then seemed to realize how strange his reaction was.
He forced the feeling back down.
"Charleston's dull as anything. It's nothing but those historic gardens, over and over. Nothing worth seeing."
The truth was, I quite liked those gardens.
But William didn't know that. He couldn't keep it in his head.
Like a kid guarding his food, afraid I'd find out what he was hiding behind his back.
I gave a soft laugh.
"All right then. I'll wait for you to come home."
The call ended, and I bought the earliest ticket out to Charleston.
