I tightened my grip on the handle.
"You've had seven years."
He said nothing.
That familiar silence irritated me more than an argument would have.
"You have absolutely no right to come up here," I said through clenched teeth, fighting to keep my voice steady."
"Then we can talk here."
He remained in the doorway.
A sharp, unamusing laugh bubbled up in my throat.
"You want to talk?" I echoed, mocking him.
"You disappear for years, and now you suddenly want a chat?"
His jaw ticked.
"I fully expected you to reject the proposal," he admitted, his voice low.
"Then why propose at all?"
"Because the families wanted the arrangement."
"And you?"
He paused.
"I agreed."
"Just like that?"
"It wasn't just like that."
"Then explain it."
"There were discussions."
"Between whom?"
"Our parents. The families."
"Except me."
"You were always going to have the final choice."
I laughed.
"How generous."
"Would you rather I had decided for you?"
"I would rather you hadn't walked back into my life with a marriage proposal after seven years of silence."
"That wasn't what I asked."
"And I'm not interested in answering your questions."
"You agreed to marry me."
"And I fully expected you to have the decency to stay dead to me. It looks like neither of us is getting what we wanted."
"You are furious," he noted quietly.
I stared at him.
"Are you actually serious right now?"
"Yet you gave your consent."
"Maybe I changed my mind."
"About me?"
"About marriage."
"To me."
I stared at him.
"You're very interested in the distinction."
"I have reason to be."
"Why? Afraid I might have motives of my own?"
He didn't answer.
That irritated me.
"You came here expecting me to refuse you. Instead, I agreed. Now you're standing outside my bedroom trying to work out why."
"Yes."
At least he admitted it.
"Then keep wondering."
I folded my arms.
"Does my consent ruin your little game?"
"You don't know what you're walking into."
I gave a dry laugh.
"That's rich, coming from the man I blame for destroying me."
"You are still entirely convinced that you know the whole story."
"I know what I saw."
"No. You know what you were shown."
"I was there."
"So was I."
"Exactly."
"That doesn't mean you saw everything."
"I saw enough."
"Did you?"
"Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Stand here seven years later and try to make me question my own memory."
"I'm asking you to question what you concluded from it."
"I didn't conclude anything. I watched it happen."
"You watched part of it happen."
"My letter was being read in front of everyone. People were filming."
"Yes."
"They were laughing."
"I know."
"And you were there, doing nothing."
"That's what you believed I was doing."
"Then which part exactly have I imagined?"
"None of it."
I let out a short breath.
"Then what are we arguing about?"
"Who caused it."
I stared at him.
"So that's your defence? Someone else caused it?"
"It isn't a defence."
"Then why did you stand there?"
Shadric dragged a hand through his hair.
"It was never supposed to happen that way."
I stared at him.
"What does that mean?"
"I'm saying what happened to you was planned. Just not by me."
"You still stood there and let them humiliate me."
"Do you know what happened to me afterwards?" I asked.
"Yes."
"I couldn't look people in the eye for months. Every time someone said your name, I remembered that day."
"I know."
"Stop saying that."
"Why?"
"Because you don't get to know. You don't get to stand there and tell me you knew what was happening to me when you did nothing about it."
"You wouldn't speak to me."
"I shouldn't have had to."
"No. You shouldn't."
I cupped a hand over my mouth and drew a slow breath through my nose.
I had expected an argument.
He gave me none.
"Then don't stand there now pretending seven years of silence can be fixed by telling me I misunderstood."
"I'm not asking you to forgive me."
"Good."
"I'm asking you to stop blaming me for something I didn't do."
I looked away and shook my head.
"No," I rasped, stepping back. "No, I'm not doing this with you. Don't do that."
"Do what, Avalan?"
"Act like my pain suddenly matters to you after all this time."
"It never stopped mattering."
I hated the way he said it.
Quietly. Without asking me to believe him.
"You don't get to say things like that."
"Why?"
"Because they mean nothing now."
"Then let them mean nothing."
"You think that's clever?"
"No."
"Then what do you want from me?"
"For you to know the truth."
I laughed.
"You propose marriage and come upstairs to challenge everything I've believed for seven years, and now you're offering me the truth?"
"I'm offering you the chance to question what you believe."
"You already told me I don't know what I'm walking into."
"You don't."
"Then tell me."
Shadric was quiet.
"Can't talk anymore?"
"The person who planned what happened that day wasn't me."
I stared at him.
"Then who was it?"
Shadric said nothing.
"Who?"
His answer came quietly.
"That's the problem, Avalan. You never stayed long enough to ask."
