Looking back on it, I truly felt like I'd been in a trance.
How could I have ever believed that Amias Bennett loved me, especially after all the neglect and humiliation I endured?
I berated myself, calling myself a fool, but something wasn't right. Holding my phone, I cursed Amias out a dozen times, calling him an idiot. Then, I blocked him on every platform.
I stood at the entrance of my apartment complex for quite a while, long enough for passersby to give me curious looks.
My friend, Aylin, called, excitedly sharing about a new Victorian-style dress she had just bought, insisting that I start a video call to see it.
I told her I was outside and it wasn't convenient right then, suggesting we'd video chat later.
Aylin's lively voice softened, and after a pause, she gently asked, "Malani, what's wrong? You don't sound like you're in a good mood."
From the lounge to Amias's home, during this whole ordeal of venting and revenge, I had stayed surprisingly composed, even managing to joke with Amias. But when Aylin asked that question, I couldn't stop the lump from forming in my throat.
I wiped my face, my hand coming away wet with tears.
"It's nothing, just a sudden revelation," I said, looking up at the sky, trying to sound carefree. "Here's to being single! Here's to freedom!"
Amias, when the hurt I carried started to outweigh my initial feelings for you, I knew I would stop loving you. I would love myself more.
