My phone buzzed on the coffee table.
I picked it up out of habit, then realized it wasn’t mine.
It was Arianne’s.
A text popped up on the screen:
[Man, those crabs my boss treated me to were unreal. I’m stuffed. To return the favor, I’ll cook you a whole feast next time.]
My eyes drifted toward the trash can, where the single crab she’d brought home for me sat tossed aside like it didn’t matter.
I let out a slow, humorless breath.
...
The next morning, I woke up early, took a shower, and blow-dried my hair. Just as I was about to head out, Arianne finally stirred.
“Where are you going? It’s the weekend,” she mumbled.
“Company team-building,” I said.
“Oh, right.” She pushed her hair off her face. “If Hudson ends up staying over, make sure you buy condoms. I tossed all the expired ones.”
I didn’t bother responding.
I just turned around, hit the elevator button, and walked out.
Arianne had always been anxious about the number of female coworkers at my job. For six years, she had tried to persuade me to quit more times than I could count. To help her feel more secure, I cut off all social activities outside of work.
In six years of employment, I had never attended a team-building event, not one dinner, not a single company outing. Even the annual year-end party, the biggest event of the year, I had always found an excuse to avoid.
Eventually, everyone labeled me as the aloof, antisocial person. This time, since I was already planning to leave, I finally broke the pattern and joined the two-day company retreat.
Once I relaxed and played games, grilled, and chatted with coworkers, I realized they were all truly kind people.
When Wanda heard I was planning a trip to France, she playfully smacked my shoulder.
"You should have done this ages ago. You’re young. Why live like a hermit?”
I took a sip of my drink, emotions twisting in my chest. “Yeah… you’re right. I’m only now realizing how much I might’ve missed out on.”
For a love that led nowhere, I had missed the scenery of an entire world.
During those two days, Arianne’s messages never stopped.
[Are you having fun? Who are you with?”
[Where are you staying? Do you need me to come tonight?”
[What time are you heading back? Should I pick you up?]
[What are you doing? Why aren’t you replying?]
My phone kept lighting up repeatedly. Before, whenever I went out for meetings, I always documented every detail with pictures, terrified of giving her any reason to doubt me.
But whenever I needed the same reassurance, she acted like I was suffocating her.
“I’m a person, not some pet you can whistle for. I need space. I need freedom.”
On the way back from the retreat, we hit a major accident on the highway. By the time I finally got home, it was close to midnight. Dragging my suitcase into the living room, I was surprised to find Arianne still awake.
“So you do remember how to come home. I thought you fell in love with the outside world and couldn’t bear to return.”
I was exhausted, eyelids heavy, with no energy for an argument. “There was an accident. Traffic was backed up for hours.”
Arianne shot to her feet, her voice tightening with anger.
“That’s not what I’m asking, Clyde. Why didn’t you answer any of my messages for two days?”
She threw her hands up, frustration spilling over.
“You just disappear like some moody teenager. If you’re upset, can’t you just say it? Do you really have to give me the silent treatment?”
So she did know silence could be cruel. Yet she used it on me every single time, letting me suffer, lose sleep, and twist myself into knots until she finally offered some fragile reconciliation.
“I was at a company event,” I said quietly. “I wasn’t throwing a tantrum. My schedule was full, and I didn’t have time to reply. And you, of all people, should understand that. You used to be too busy to respond to me all the time.”
I didn't bother saying more.
I walked directly to the bathroom to wash up. When I returned, the living room lights had been dimmed to a warm glow. The TV was on, and a bottle of red wine sat waiting on the coffee table.
“You’ve been talking about wanting to watch this movie forever. I’ll watch it with you tonight.”
A yawn slipped out of me, my eyes already half closed.
“No need. I already watched it by myself on my birthday night.”
