Through the peephole, a man stood in the hallway.
"Who is it?" I asked, keeping my voice low.
"Testing center. Ms. Swanson? Your results are in."
I desperately needed a job. Only with a steady income would I have the leverage to fight Nelson for Tommy.
But who would watch Tommy?
After turning it over and over, the only option was to go back to my parents' place in Northfield.
On the train, I counted my savings three times.
Everything I'd scraped together over the years from odd jobs, plus whatever I'd managed to set aside from the living allowance Nelson gave me, came to just over fifty thousand dollars.
I didn't tell my parents the truth. I just said Nelson and I had gotten into a fight and I needed to stay for a while.
I slapped the cash on the table and told them it was payment for watching Tommy.
They were his grandparents. Even if they weren't the most attentive, they wouldn't let anything happen to him.
Mom took the money. Her expression softened a little.
Dad cleared out a corner of my brother Dale Swanson's gaming room and set up a folding cot.
And just like that, Tommy and I moved in.
I'd entered the workforce young, at least. I was a hard worker and didn't complain, and I found a sales job quickly.
I hustled around the clock, took clients out for drinks, schmoozing and networking, and within a month I'd passed my probation period.
Then one night, Dale stayed up gaming until three in the morning.
Tommy woke up crying multiple times. By the end, his little voice was raw and hoarse.
I tested the waters. "Could you keep it down a little?"
He didn't even turn around, headphones clamped over his ears. "Get lost."
I ripped the headphones off his head.
He shot to his feet. He was half a head taller than me, jabbing his finger in my face.
"What the hell is wrong with you, Norma? Your man kicked you to the curb so you come back here to push me around?"
"I asked you to keep it down. The baby needs to sleep."
"The baby, the baby. Your little bastard's got nothing to do with me."
"Norma, what kind of woman would anyone want you to be? Honestly, can't blame your husband for throwing you out."
He could say whatever he wanted about me. I could take it. But I would not let him talk about Tommy that way.
I grabbed the cup off the desk and hurled it at him.
He dodged. The cup exploded against the wall, shards scattering across the floor.
Mom and Dad came rushing in.
Mom shoved me back. "Have you lost your mind, Norma? That's your brother!"
"He called Tommy a bastard."
"So what if he said a few things?"
"You're living under someone else's roof and you can't even keep the peace? Who are you trying to impress with this drama?"
Living under someone else's roof.
The mortgage on this house had been paid off with my bride price money.
And I didn't even have a room to call my own.
Tommy's cries rose from the cot. I turned to go to him. Behind me, Mom muttered under her breath.
"If it weren't for the money, who'd bother looking after you two?"
I picked Tommy up, and something inside me broke into a laugh.
So what if Nelson bullied me?
Someone like me, someone even her own family bullied.
Of course no one would take me seriously. Of course everyone would want to step on me.
The next day after work, Mom was suspiciously pleasant.
"Norma, sweetie, I want to talk to you about something."
I looked at her warily.
"You know your brother's grades. There's no way he's getting into a real university. Private colleges are expensive, thirty or forty thousand a year."
"You're making good money now. Why don't you cover Dale's tuition?"
I set down my chopsticks. "He can't get in, he can go get a job. That's exactly what you told me to do, isn't it?"
Mom's face darkened.
"You're a girl. What's the point of all that education?"
"Your brother's different. If he doesn't even have a college degree, no woman will marry him."
A girl. Pointless...
Nelson's voice detonated in my head without warning.
"You never even went to college. Every single day I spent with you was torture."
Before the SATs, my grades had been in the top ten of my class.
But I was allergic to shellfish, and my mother, just because my brother loved them, had made me shrimp-stuffed ravioli for dinner.
The shrimp had been minced so fine that I'd eaten several before I realized something was wrong.
By then, it was too late.
I ended up in the hospital and missed the SATs. My mother said my body was useless and I'd wasted their money.
I begged them through tears to let me retake the exam the following year. They refused, no matter how hard I pleaded.
"It's better you didn't pass. All these years we've fed you and clothed you. Time to get a job and start paying your share."
And now, when it came to my brother, they'd move heaven and earth to make sure he got an education.
"I'm not paying for it. My money is for Tommy."
My mother shot to her feet.
"What's that supposed to mean, Norma? You're living under my roof, eating my food, and you won't even help your brother out?"
"I already gave you money."
"That pittance?"
"Letting you stay here for a few months was more than generous. How much longer do you plan on mooching off me?"
"If you won't pay up, then get out! Go back to your in-laws in Southport!"
After all these years, I'd long stopped expecting anything from this family.
I looked at her, and suddenly I didn't want to say another word.
"Fine."
The next day I went out and found a place. Six months' rent wiped out most of my savings.
But I couldn't stop smiling. A real smile, from deep inside. Tommy and I finally had a home of our own.
When I got off work that evening, I went back to pick Tommy up.
The house was eerily quiet.
"Where's Tommy?"
My mother sat on the couch peeling garlic, not even bothering to look up.
"His daddy came for him. I handed him over."
