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My husband drove our wedding car over so his female coworker could practice on it.
He sat in the passenger seat, teaching her hands-on.
"Babe, this is my coworker Katie. The cars at the driving lot all reek of some old man's sweat, and I figured our wedding car was just sitting there anyway."
Katherine Henson glanced at me from the corner of her eye, her voice cool. "You're his wife, right? Logan Fox talks about you all the time."
I raised an eyebrow. The easy, practiced way the two of them moved, they looked more like family than anything.
Katherine rolled the window down and gave me a look loaded with meaning. "Your car drives really nicely. You wouldn't mind letting me get some practice in, would you?"
I smiled, generous. "Of course I don't mind."
The words were barely out before my hand shot in through the window and dragged her straight out of it.
I swung my right arm back and slapped her across the face with everything I had.
"And you won't mind how I treat my guests either, will you?"
1
When my husband drove over to meet me, there was a woman in the driver's seat. His female coworker.
"Babe, this is the new girl at the company, Katie. She's learning to drive lately, and since I'm an old pro behind the wheel, I figured I'd help her out."
Katherine slowly slid the driver's window down.
She barely spared me a glance. "Move back a little. You're blocking my mirror."
I noticed the Van Cleef & Arpels on her wrist. It was the one I'd lost.
Katherine parked the car and said, in a tone I couldn't quite read, "Your car drives really nicely."
"I hear you're busy with work and never have time to drive it. Why don't you let me practice on it?"
Then she looked at my husband, letting the words carry a second meaning.
"You wouldn't mind, would you?"
The back window came down too. Sitting in the back were my husband's pack of no-good friends.
"It's just a wedding car. His wife isn't that petty."
"Come on, she's so generous, why wouldn't she say yes? Forget the car, even if you asked her for the man, she probably wouldn't say no! Hahaha!"
One after another, they backed me into a corner.
I didn't answer them. I turned to the man in the passenger seat instead. "If I remember right, you promised me you wouldn't hang around with them anymore."
But he hadn't caught a single word of it.
Head down, coaching her attentively. "Press this and it sprays washer fluid, this one's the wipers. See? One press and it sprays."
I frowned slightly and hardened my voice. "Logan."
My husband's head snapped up. "Babe, what is it? I didn't catch that."
Then he ducked his head again, and right in front of me, laid his hand on Katherine's arm.
"When you turn, you just watch that line, and when it lines up with the headlight, you cut the wheel. Katie, your hands are kind of warm, aren't they?"
Then he switched on the AC.
Katherine tilted her head up and teased, laughing, "His hands are a little cold. Is he run-down or something?"
"If you don't mind, we're going to head off and practice now. You'll have to build him back up later."
I looked at the whole carload of them and gave a slow clap.
"Of course I don't mind."
Then I let the smile drop, reached in through the window, and grabbed Katherine by the collar.
Before she could put up any fight, I hauled her straight out of the window.
Then I swung my arm back and slapped her hard across the face.
For a second, you could have heard a pin drop.
I smiled gently, wiped my palm with distaste, and asked, all politeness,
"That's how I treat my guests. Katie, you wouldn't mind, would you?"
Everyone stared at me, stunned. The man in the passenger seat was the first to come flying out.
He jabbed a finger in my face. "What the hell is your problem? What did Katie ever do to you?"
I strolled around to the back of the car as if nothing had happened and popped the trunk.
Logan trailed after me, running his mouth the whole way. "You're vicious, you know that? I just felt bad for Katie, she's a young girl. What are you doing? If you've got a problem, take it out on me!"
"Fine."
I found something handy among the odds and ends.
I weighed the fire extinguisher in my hand, then turned and slammed it into Logan's head.
"Shut up! What makes you think you're worth anything?"
