2.
Gilbert thought it over. "Should be quick. Three hours, tops."
I smiled without any warmth in it.
"I've been having contractions half the day. You think I can hold on three more hours until you're back to deliver?"
He mumbled something, unable to answer.
The nurse beside him rushed in to save him.
"Ma'am, you should be glad Dr. Reed's doing this. From what I hear, Selma's his childhood sweetheart, and her husband can't make it back in time, so Dr. Reed's stepping in to be with her through the birth. That shows he's loyal, that he honors old ties. You married a good man!"
"Dr. Reed's always telling us how reasonable and understanding you are. You should show a little of that grace, the way a first wife would."
"Right, having a baby is a big deal, but it's a big deal over there too. Be a little patient, and let Dr. Reed make it up to you properly when he's back."
But being reasonable and understanding, is that just a reason to let people walk all over me?
I said, cutting, "If they're both big deals, then why isn't Selma the one waiting?"
That shut them up. They dropped their eyes to their shoes, awkward.
I turned to Gilbert.
"I'll ask you one last time. Do you really mean to go stay with her?"
He sighed. "Worst case, I'll have the anesthetist give you the epidural first. Julia, we've been married three years. What's three more hours."
I didn't let him finish.
"Forget it. Go stay with Selma."
Gilbert took it as me caving, and left with his mind at ease to go find Selma.
I curled my hand into a fist.
That's right. I'd endured it for three years.
But today, I wasn't going to endure anything.
My bladder was killing me. Late in the pregnancy the weight pressed down on it, so I already couldn't hold much, and since the contractions started at three that morning it had only gotten worse.
I got up to go to the bathroom at the end of the hall.
I'd barely climbed off the bed, hadn't even gotten my shoes on, when a hand yanked me back hard.
The back of my head slammed into the headboard, and a big lump swelled up right away.
A young nurse smirked at me.
"Sorry. Did I pull too hard?"
"But it isn't the best time for Selma to deliver yet. The doctor says this is better for the baby."
"Dr. Reed's the one helping her to the bathroom. He told me to watch you and not let you off the bed, so you won't go over there and give Selma trouble."
As she said it, Gilbert came out of the ward across the hall, carefully supporting Selma toward the bathroom.
My sister rubbed the back of my head, fuming.
"Gilbert, you've got plenty of strength for another woman, but helping my sister to the bathroom is too much trouble? And pinning her to the bed so she can't move, if that isn't bullying, what is?"
"She said she needed the bathroom before we even left. You were the one who said the hospital room had its own bathroom, insisting she rush over here. So this was all so you could see your old flame sooner?"
Before Gilbert could get a word out, Selma jumped in first, all sweetness.
"Julia, don't blame Gilbert. He's just afraid that if he's here waiting on you hand and foot, he'll end up leaving me stranded."
She really knew how to talk.
And me, stranded waiting on him?
Gilbert handed me a plastic bedpan, clearly the cheapest kind from the hospital shop.
"Getting off the bed's hard for you, so just go in this. I'll have a nurse come empty it later."
I didn't touch it.
I stared at him with something that wasn't quite a smile.
"Gilbert, you're a doctor. Don't tell me you don't know a pregnant woman with a belly this size can't use one of these."
He looked visibly awkward.
"I just had so much going on, I forgot. Once Selma's done over there, I'll borrow her portable toilet for you. Her labor's going long, she can't hold it in to deliver. When I'm back I'll buy you a nicer one."
Then Selma called him over again.
"Gilbert, it hurts a little. Can you come sit with me and talk?"
Gilbert hurried over and sat down at her bedside.
He even told her jokes to take her mind off it.
Worried she was uncomfortable, he thoughtfully rubbed her back for her.
All at once I felt like a joke.
During the pregnancy I'd wake up in the night with my legs cramping, in pain, and beg him to rub them for me.
All I ever got was, aren't you sick of this.
Only now did I understand it wasn't that he had no patience. He just wouldn't spend it on me.
Even that so-called private bathroom had been kept for Selma. All I was good enough for was her leftover bedpan.
From beginning to end, the person in his heart had never been me.
My phone buzzed. My ex had sent his location. He was already on the way.
Almost time. This little show was about to end.
