I looked at the needle marks on my belly, felt the bitter taste of that medicine swirling in my stomach and couldn’t even walk properly with how swollen my legs had gotten.
But I kept pushing through, clenching my teeth, trying to hang in there.
Every time I saw Kevin happily decorating the baby room, excited about our future as a family of three, I convinced myself that all the pain would be worth it.
Then I heard it.
"Oh, shit! Kevin, I think I forgot the condom!" she said, her voice playful and breathless.
"It's fine, baby. I’ll give you a child," Kevin said, too casual for my liking.
I bit down on my lip, trying to keep my emotions in check, curling up under the blanket as the tears started falling.
He had told me it didn’t matter about the baby.
When I miscarried, his eyes were red and he held me close, his hands shaking as he whispered in my ear, trying to comfort me. "It’s okay, Sabrina. This baby wasn’t meant to be. But we’ve still got each other. That’s enough."
Kevin had promised he had never lie to me, that he’d never betray me. But now, less than six months later, here he was, doing exactly that.
"Kevin, you’re amazing! Come over tonight!" she cooed, her voice full of lust.
After a long silence, Kevin finally walked out, Molly in his arms, their footsteps fading down the hall.
Once they were gone, I grabbed my phone with trembling hands and opened it. There it was, the confirmation for my flight.
The betrayal was all real. The suffocating feeling didn’t leave. The clock barely ticked, but it felt like hours, maybe even days.
I staggered barefoot across the cold floor, stumbling as I opened the window.
The cold wind sliced through me, but weirdly, it helped the knot in my chest loosen just a bit. I breathed in the icy air, punishing myself with every breath, until I tasted the sharp, metallic tang in the back of my throat.
Without thinking, I dialed the number. "I’ve made up my mind," I said, my voice steady despite everything.
"Are you really going home? Are you sure you want to leave Kevin?" my brother on the other end asked.
My nose suddenly tingled and tears started to fall. I opened my mouth, but I couldn’t say anything.
He went quiet for a moment, then sighed. "Pack up, you're always welcome back here."
I forced out a hoarse, "Okay. Pick me up at the airport in three days. I’ve still got some stuff to take care of."
I had left everything behind to marry Kevin, ignoring my parents’ objections.
I followed him to Derriston, thinking that would be enough, that he was the one I was meant to be with for the rest of my life. But everything changed in just a few years.
I couldn’t sleep at all that night, but I felt something in the air, something uneasy, getting closer.
I opened my eyes and saw Kevin's face, looking so handsome and affectionate. It almost felt like I could see myself reflected in his eyes.
He reached out to touch my hair, just like he always did, like the sweet mornings we used to share.
But all of a sudden, I felt a wave of nausea. I slapped his hand away and rushed to the bathroom to throw up.
I didn’t expect it, but my body was rejecting him already. Just being in the same space as him made me feel suffocated.
I stayed hunched over the toilet, gagging until I could breathe again. When I finally looked up, I saw a black-and-white photo sticking out of the laundry basket.
It was an ultrasound picture of the baby we lost. She was already four months old. I could just make out her little smiling face and almost feel her gentle movements inside me.
I stared at the photo, unsure of what to do. I didn’t dare touch it, afraid that if I did, she would disappear. Or worse, she would somehow laugh and call me "Mom," or cry and accuse me of not protecting her.
