Cecelia's pov
"You can't blame yourself for decisions I made," I protested while turning to face him. "I chose to fake my death, I chose to raise Golden alone, I chose to stay hidden instead of coming back which makes this just as much my fault as
anyone's."
We stood there in the dim light from the window while both of us carried guilt for choices that had led to this moment. The bond between us ached with shared pain that neither
of us knew how to fix.
"I'm scared," I admitted while the confession felt like weakness. "I'm terrified that we won't find him in time or that when we do find him he'll be hurt beyond what we can fix or
that he'll hate me for not protecting him better."
"He could never hate you," Zeke said while pulling me into his arms. "You're his whole world Cecelia, everything he knows about love and safety and being cared for comes
from you."
"Then where is that love now when
he needs it most?" I sobbed against his chest while my hands fisted in his shirt. "Where is his mother when someone has taken him away from everything familiar?"
"You're here doing everything possible to get him back," Zeke said while his hand ran up and down my spine. "That's where his mother is, fighting with everything she has to bring him home."
I don't know how long we stood there holding each other while the night deepened outside. Eventually my tears slowed while exhaustion crept in to replace the panic though
the fear never really left.
"You should try to sleep," Zeke murmured against my hair. "I know it seems impossible but your body needs rest."
"I can't sleep knowing Golden's shoe just arrived as a threat," I said while pulling back to look at him.
"How am I supposed to close my eyes when whoever has him is watching us close enough to deliver packages?"
"I'll stay with you," Zeke offered while guiding me back toward the bedroom. "You don't have to be
alone with this."
We got back into bed while this time there was no pretense of maintaining distance. I curled into Zeke's side while his arms wrapped around me holding me close. The bond
hummed between us providing comfort even though nothing could really ease the ache of missing my son.
"Tell me something good about Golden," Zeke said after a while. "Something that makes you smile when you think about it."
I closed my eyes while searching
through memories for something that didn't hurt quite so much. "He sings in the shower," I said while a small smile tugged at my mouth despite everything. "These made up songs about fish and boats and whatever else is in his head at the moment, completely off key but so enthusiastic that you can't help but laugh."
"Like his mother then," Zeke said while I could hear the smile in his voice. "You used to sing in the shower too."
"I did not," I protested weakly while the normalcy of this conversation
felt surreal given the circumstances.
"You absolutely did," Zeke insisted while his chest moved with quiet laughter. "Every morning without fail, usually songs from whatever musical you'd been watching that week."
The memory of those mornings felt like it belonged to someone else's life while so much had changed since then. "That feels like a hundred years ago," I said while my smile faded. "Back when things were simpler even though they felt complicated at the time."
"We were both so young," Zeke agreed while his hand continued its soothing path along my back.
"Trying to figure out how to be married when we barely knew each other."
"I knew you," I said quietly. "Maybe not everything but I knew the important parts, I knew you were kind even when you were trying to be distant and I knew you carried guilt that wasn't yours to carry."
"You saw through me from the beginning," Zeke said while something shifted in his tone. "I tried so hard to keep you at arm's
length but you wouldn't let me hide behind duty or obligation."
"For all the good it did me," I said while old hurt crept into my voice. "You still chose Layla in the end."
"I chose wrong," Zeke said firmly while his arms tightened around me. "I chose fear over love and duty over happiness which cost me three years with you and our son."
The bond pulsed stronger between us while I felt his sincerity through the connection. "We can't change the past," I said while trying to keep my voice steady. "All we can do is
focus on the present and getting Golden back safely."
"And after?" Zeke asked while his question hung in the air between us. "What happens after we find Golden and bring him home?"
I didn't know how to answer that because I hadn't let myself think about after. Everything had been focused on finding Golden while the future beyond that rescue felt impossible to imagine.
"I don't know," I admitted while my hand rested over his heart feeling the steady beat beneath my palm. "I
guess we figure it out as we go."
"I want you to stay," Zeke said while his voice dropped lower. "Both of you, I want you to stay here where you belong instead of running away again."
"This isn't my home anymore," I protested though the words felt weak. "I built a life in Seacreek over three years, Golden has friends there and a routine he loves."
"Golden deserves to know his father," Zeke countered while shifting so he could see my face. "He deserves to grow up as part of
this pack with all the protection and opportunities that come with being an Alpha's son."
"And what about what I deserve?" I asked while pulling back slightly. "Do I get a say in this or are you just making decisions about our future without consulting me like you did three years ago?"
Pain flashed across his face while the bond echoed with his regret. "You're right, I'm sorry," he said while releasing me though his hand stayed on my waist. "I'm not trying to dictate anything, I'm asking you to consider staying because I don't
want to lose you again now that I finally have you back."
"You don't have me back," I said while the words came out sharper than I intended. "We kissed a few times and slept in the same bed but that doesn't erase three years or fix what broke between us."
"Then let me try to fix it," Zeke said while his thumb traced circles on my hip. "Give me a chance to prove I've changed and that I can be the mate and father you both deserve."
I wanted to argue while pointing out all the ways this could go wrong but
exhaustion made it hard to think clearly. "Can we talk about this later?" I asked while settling back against his chest. "When Golden is safe and we're not operating on fear and adrenaline?"
"Later," Zeke agreed while his arms came back around me. "But I'm not giving up on us Cecelia, not this time."
I wanted to tell him there was no us anymore but the bond hummed contentedly between us while my body relaxed into his warmth despite my mind's protests. Maybe there could be an us again
someday but right now all I could focus on was bringing my son home.
