I bit my lip, still wanting to say something, but he clicked his tongue, impatient.
"If you've got anything else, say it all now."
I shook my head in silence and turned to go.
The instant the door closed, I heard a girl's bright voice come through his phone.
"Your wife's asking for a divorce! Aren't you going to go smooth things over?"
Otto answered flatly.
"I wouldn't lend her the money, so she's sulking. That's all."
"She won't actually divorce me."
I stood outside the door, and a cold settled over my chest.
From the day I got pregnant, Otto had made me quit my job.
It was only because his sperm count was low that we'd managed to have this baby at all, and nothing could be allowed to go wrong.
He said he earned money to provide for me and the baby, so I could rest and carry the pregnancy with peace of mind.
I quit my job, going from the youngest partner at a law firm, a graduate of a top school,
to Mrs. Gilbert, who waited in the mansion every day for her husband to come home.
But I soon learned that "never short on money" never once meant I was allowed to spend it.
When I bought prenatal vitamins, I had to send the link to Vivien.
When I added a single nightgown, I had to ask Vivien first whether it was appropriate.
When I went to the hospital for checkups, I had to keep even the cab receipts and wait for them all to be reimbursed at the end of the month.
Once, I only wanted to buy my mother a scarf, and Vivien turned right around and reported it to Otto.
That night, he sat across the dining table, his tone as flat as if he were scolding a child who didn't know any better.
"Deidre, I had you quit so you could rest and carry the baby, not so you could learn from those small-minded people who marry in and then scheme every way they can to claw money out of my hands."
I rushed to explain.
"I didn't. That day was my mom's sixtieth birthday. You'd promised to come back with me to celebrate, but you had something come up, so I bought a scarf in your place—"
Otto's face went cold.
"In my place?"
"Deidre, don't go using my name to curry favor with your family."
"Today it's a scarf. Tomorrow will you have me buying them a house, a car?"
"Since you've married into the Gilbert family, you should keep your distance from your old family. Better to cut it off clean now, before they drag you down, and me with you."
That was the first time the thought of divorce stirred in me.
But the next day, when Otto came home, he carried an elegant gift box.
He wrapped his arms around me from behind, his voice low and rough.
"Deidre, I'm sorry."
"I spoke too harshly yesterday."
"It's just that I've seen too many women throw themselves at me for money."
"Leah swore up and down she loved me too, back then, and in the end she dumped me for better prospects."
"She made me feel like there's hardly anyone in this world who truly loves me, the person. So the moment you bring up money, I overreact."
He buried his face in my shoulder, as though he really were worn down to the bone.
The hurt in my heart suddenly turned into aching tenderness for him.
After that, I lived carefully by his rules, trying to prove that what I loved was him, not his money.
But later, while washing his clothes, I found a shopping receipt in the pocket of his coat.
It listed the date Leah was returning to the country.
It also listed the diamond bracelet he'd given her, worth seven figures.
And under that gift box he'd given me, tucked beneath it, was a promotional card.
Free with any qualifying purchase.
I stood in the laundry room a long time, holding that flimsy little card.
That sincerity I'd been killing myself to prove, in his eyes, had been worth nothing from start to finish.
The second time I thought about divorce came in that very moment.
That night, my emotions had churned too hard, and in the middle of the night a pain gripped my belly, cold sweat breaking out layer after layer.
