I put the meat in my mouth, but I couldn't taste a thing.
After so many years of marriage, I knew Silas didn't like shrimp.
Only once, when he was drunk and in a good mood, did he tell me that he used to fight someone for it, snatching it back and forth.
I asked him why.
He said it was because teasing that person that way was so much fun.
I set down my chopsticks, and Silas ladled more soup into my bowl.
Tonight he was so different.
Mia saw it. She bowed her head, biting her lip, then lifted her eyes again.
"I really shouldn't have come back this time, but my boyfriend hits me... just now, he even called..."
The suspended ladle dropped into the soup bowl.
The hot broth splashed across half my hand,
and in an instant it went red.
Silas didn't even glance at it. He only looked at Mia, his voice changing pitch.
"He came after you again? Where is he?!"
The words ground out through his teeth, all his usual composure gone.
When Mia said nothing, he leaned halfway across and slid one arm around her.
I pulled out my handkerchief, covered my hand, and stood.
"I've had enough. I'll go wash up first."
I held my hand under cold water for five minutes,
but it still couldn't cover the red on my skin.
A few of the servants passed by carrying cleaning supplies, muttering as they went.
"Miss Winfield's back this time. Looks like she and Mr. Sheridan will be picking up where they left off."
"What are you talking about? Didn't Mr. Sheridan marry into that Ellison girl's family? Isn't he afraid the Ellisons will make a scene if there's a divorce?"
They stopped walking and dropped their voices.
"Make what scene? Everyone knows it's the Ellisons who need Mr. Sheridan. Besides, the old madam already cleared out the marital home in the back courtyard that was meant for Mr. Sheridan. What do you think that means!"
"And really, look at how Mr. Sheridan's treated the Ellison woman these past few years, then look at how he treats Miss Winfield. Her nail breaks and his eyes go red with worry. If that's not caring, what is?"
I shut off the water, and at the sound the servants hurried away.
When I married in, both my mother-in-law and Silas told me the old estate was too plain and old-fashioned, not suitable for me to live in.
On top of that, my late father-in-law had left behind so many antiques that there was no room to spare.
Back then I said it didn't matter. Wherever Silas was, that was where I would be.
I gave a soft laugh,
leaning against the wall, stroking my belly again and again.
It hurt so much.
I hadn't taken more than a few steps out of the inner room
when I saw Silas standing under the corridor lights, in the dim, waiting for me.
"You threw a fit and wouldn't eat, and now Mia won't eat either. Her stomach's bad, she can't skip meals. Come back with me and smooth it over."
His gaze fell on my hand for a single moment,
and for that moment I thought he'd come to ask if my hand hurt.
I looked up.
"So she's going to live in the back courtyard from now on?"
"Who told you that?" Silas frowned. He didn't deny it.
"Do you know the back courtyard was supposed to be our marital home?"
I didn't want to be angry, but I couldn't stop my hand from curling into a fist.
"I'm not saying I won't live there because I don't want a place of my own in this family."
I only didn't want my willfulness to make Silas resent me.
Silas's furrowed brow smoothed again, his whole manner turning cool and remote.
"I bought you a marital home of your own so you could be Mrs. Sheridan with your dignity intact. And now you're fighting with me over a single courtyard?"
Right. If Silas hadn't once sat down with the blueprints and planned that back courtyard with me,
telling me where the cabinets would go,
where the children's play area would be,
where our bedroom would be,
which shelf would hold the flowers I loved and the books he'd read,
then I probably wouldn't have kept dwelling on it.
I really had believed that one day I would move in there with Silas.
Even if my mother-in-law didn't accept me, at least Silas cared a little.
He was always so distant, and yet he had once held me in his heart.
