"Your body was already fragile, and the impact was too much. The baby didn't make it."
The doctor sighed softly and continued.
"I don't know what's going on today. So many injured pregnant women coming in. They rushed another one into the room next door just now."
"Fortunately, her baby is fine."
"You young women really need to learn to take better care of yourselves."
After the doctor left the room, I pressed a trembling hand to my flat stomach. It felt like a massive fist had closed around my heart and squeezed.
Without my ever knowing, there had been a child here.
I lay on the hospital bed, tears sliding from the corners of my eyes, disappearing into my hair at the temples.
Under the haze of anesthesia, I drifted off again.
I was woken in the dead of night by the chime of a text message.
"Next door. There's a surprise for you."
I pushed back the covers and climbed out of bed.
The room next door was steeped in intimacy. A woman's voice floated out, honeyed and cloying enough to melt bone.
"Oh, careful... I'm still pregnant, you know. What if you hurt the baby?"
"And we're in a hospital. Someone might hear."
The man's voice was raw, thick with desire.
"I'll be gentle. Don't worry, I won't hurt our baby."
"I already shut the door. Relax. No one's going to hear."
At the peak of it all, Gail shifted her gaze from beneath Boyd, and her eyes found mine across the dim space.
What was left for me not to understand?
Boyd said he'd shut the door.
But the door was clearly cracked open.
Gail had done it on purpose.
I lowered my eyes, turned away, and sat down on a chair in the corridor.
The hospital hallway was deserted at this hour.
I sat there, motionless, punishing myself by listening to the sounds of them together.
I didn't know how long I'd been sitting there when a nurse's voice reached me, gentle and close.
"Miss Winfield? Why are you crying so hard?"
"Are you in pain somewhere?"
Only then did I realize I'd been crying the entire time.
My whole body was shaking with sobs, my fingers trembling without my permission.
I swiped roughly at my tears and looked up at the nurse.
"I'm fine. I'll go back to my room now."
After the nurse left, I stood up.
But I didn't go back to my room. I walked straight toward the hospital's front entrance.
Three days passed before Boyd came home.
Seeing how thinly I was dressed, he reached for a blanket nearby and draped it over my shoulders, casual as anything.
"What's the staff been doing? How are you wearing so little?"
I didn't answer. I just looked up at him, eyes level and unblinking.
"How's Gail? Out of the hospital?"
Boyd let out a long sigh. The look he gave me was full of weary patience.
"Faith, she's young. Let it go."
"I've already warned her. She won't come near you again."
"Forgive her this once, okay?"
Okay?
That single word landed somewhere hollow inside me. I felt nothing. If anything, I almost wanted to laugh.
I took a long drag of the slim cigarette between my fingers. When I spoke, smoke curled from my lips.
Through the haze, Boyd's face blurred at the edges.
"Boyd, did you know?"
"We had a child."
A flash of wild joy crossed his eyes.
The next second, I crushed the cigarette into the ashtray, grinding it until there was nothing left.
"But it's dead."
"Three days ago. You killed it when you knocked me down."
Boyd's entire body went rigid. His lips moved, trembling, searching for words.
Nothing came out.
