"I'm tired," I said, the words strangely calm, a hollow echo in the suffocating silence. My voice didn't even sound like mine. It was flat, emotionless.
Beck looked up, startled. He was still holding Leo, who had finally quieted down, his small arms wrapped around his father's neck. "Tired? Of what, Claire?" His brow furrowed in confusion.
"I'm going to pack a bag," I continued, ignoring his question. My gaze swept over the luxurious living room, the gleaming surfaces, the expensive art. None of it felt like mine anymore.
Beck placed Leo gently on the sofa. "Pack a bag? Where are you going?" He took a tentative step towards me, his eyes searching my face.
"I need some space," I lied, the words tasting like ashes. Space. That was a polite way of saying I needed an exit strategy. I needed to cut out the rot, surgically and decisively, before it consumed me entirely.
"My mother isn't feeling well," I added, conjuring up the easiest excuse. "I'll go stay with her for a few days."
It was a flimsy excuse, I knew. My mother was perfectly healthy, probably out on her weekly bridge game. But Beck didn't question it. He simply nodded, a flicker of what I imagined was relief crossing his face. Perhaps he thought this was a temporary reprieve, an opportunity to smooth things over with Bethany without my inconvenient presence. Or maybe, he just didn't care enough to probe.
"Alright," he said, his voice surprisingly agreeable. "I'll have the driver take you."
He didn't ask if I needed help packing. He didn't ask how long I would be gone. He didn't notice the small, determined glint in my eyes, the way I carefully avoided looking at the family photos on the mantelpiece. He didn't notice that the bag I planned to pack wasn't just for a few days.
I turned and walked up the grand staircase, my steps heavy, yet my heart felt cold and hard, like polished steel. The master bedroom, once our sanctuary, felt like a stranger's room. There was no comfort here, no warmth, no echo of the love we once shared.
I opened the walk-in closet, Beck's side overflowing with designer suits, my side neatly organized with my own, now seemingly insignificant, wardrobe. I didn't take much. Just my essential documents, a few changes of clothes, and the small, battered sketchbook I used to carry everywhere in my graphic designer days. All the expensive jewelry, the designer handbags, the extravagant gifts Beck had showered me with over the years-I left them all. They were tainted, anchors to a life I was desperate to escape. They felt like payment for a gilded cage.
Thirty minutes later, I walked down the stairs. Beck and Bethany were in the kitchen, their voices low, Leo's childish giggles mingling with theirs. They didn't see me leave. They were too absorbed in their own manufactured domestic bliss.
I walked out the front door, closing it softly behind me. The click of the lock was barely audible, yet it resonated like a gunshot in my soul. It was the sound of a door closing on my past, a final, irreversible farewell.
