Something stirred within me, something I couldn’t control.
And the next thing, I was up on my feet, screaming at the top of my voice.
“How dare you, Zack? You are married to me!”
The crowd gasped in awe as they all turned to me. All the media personalities turned their cameras to me, taking numerous pictures. Everyone murmured as they glanced between me, Zack, and Serena.
Zack’s face burned with anger, and my mom was even more furious. She walked towards me and yanked me out of the hall. My dad tried to calm everyone down.
“Let me go!” I screamed as I struggled to free myself from her grip.
“You want to bring more shame to our family, right? It’s not enough that you tried to kill your sister a year ago, you also want to take away her happiness?!” My mom scolded as she dragged me up the stairwell.
I wasn’t surprised, most people didn’t recognize me as a Rashford. Serena was always flaunted and glorified while I was always serving one punishment or the other.
“Mom, please, Zack is married to me. How can he disrespect me like that, Mom? We’ve been married for two years and without a proper divorce, he’s proposing to Serena?” I cried.
“You don’t deserve anything good, Lena. You’re a curse to this family. I curse the day I birthed you. Do you know the kind of influence our family would get from that union?” My mom snapped, ignoring the tears that streamed from my eyes.
“I always enabled you, failed to see how much of a menace you were, even as a child. Serena is your elder sister, show some respect! You should be more focused on making it up to her, rather than throwing a tantrum!” My mom hissed.
“Mom, please, stop. You’re hurting me,” I cried, begging, desperate for a bit of love from my mother.
“You know me, Lena, I’d rather hurt you with the truth than make you feel good with lies.” She snapped.
“Here is what you will do. You will go downstairs, apologize to everyone, and fix the mess you created,”
“I won’t. I can’t. Serena and Zack are having an affair! In my house! That’s why Serena insisted on taking care of me, so she could get closer to Zack!” I yelled.
I felt a little light as I let the burden off my chest, hoping for some sort of sympathy or realization from my mom.
“What did you expect? You were never supposed to have him, Lena. Zack and Serena belong together. You were just… a placeholder.” My mom said, her voice devoid of any sympathy or emotion. Just cold and tactless as ever.
A placeholder.
A mistake.
The unwanted child who killed her twin in the womb.
I had heard the whispers growing up and had seen the way my parents looked at me. My mother never failed to remind me that my twin, the son they prayed for never made it, but I did.
As if I had a choice.
“Where is that stupid bitch!” Serena’s voice came hollering.
I barely turned before she was on me, her nails digging into my skin as she shoved me back.
“How dare you cause a scene, you blind fool?” Serena snapped.
“I guess I’ll leave you two to fix your differences,” my mom said and left.
“Serena, please,” I gasped. “I just want—”
“You mean nothing to Zack. He’s mine, always has been. Just a few months I was away, you stole him from me,”
“Zack is my husband, Serena. It’s not fair he proposes to you,” I said, trying to make her see reason with me.
You just ruined my engagement!” she yelled as she slapped me across the cheek.
I staggered, clutching my cheek.
“At least let him divorce me properly,” I whispered.
She scoffed. “You don’t deserve anything, Lena. And now, I’m going to finish what I should have done a year ago.”
She pushed me with great force.
I was close to the edge, but I held the rail tightly.
“Serena, please, don’t do this. Please, I’m your sister.” I begged desperately, hoping for some sympathy from her.
But there was no hesitation in her eyes, only darkness.
“You’re a stain in our lives. You have to go,” she said as she pried my fingers off the rail.
I screamed as I fell.
Desperately searching for something to hold on to, I grabbed her red flowing gown.
And then, she was falling too.
I felt my heart burn and my lungs collapse. I struggled to get to the surface. I couldn’t swim, and neither could Serena.
We both struggled to get out, splishing and splashing.
My limbs got weaker by the second.
I could hear voices and shouts, but they felt far away. At least, there was a glimpse of hope that we would soon be saved.
Someone dived into the water and carried Serena out.
I kept struggling, hoping for my rescue, but it never came.
I watched as my glasses floated above me.
What was the essence of the struggle? For twenty-four years, I had been a burden, a disappointment.
For the first time in my life, I stopped fighting.
I let go.
And I let the darkness consume me.
