4: 4
When Hugh saw the pregnancy report, something flickered across his face, then smoothed over just as fast.
He picked it up, glanced at it, and tossed it onto the coffee table.
"So you know."
His tone was completely flat.
"So?"
I couldn't believe my ears.
"So?"
"Hugh, you got her pregnant!"
"You cheated on me!"
"We're not married," he corrected me.
I froze.
He was right. We weren't married.
Five years with him, and he had never once brought up marriage.
I'd hinted at it before, and he always brushed it off with the same excuse: his business had just gotten off the ground, we should wait a little longer.
So it turned out he'd never intended to marry me at all.
"Christine's keeping the baby." He looked at me and said it out one word at a time.
"I'm going to give her a name."
The pain made it hard to breathe.
"Then what about me?"
I asked, shaking. "What am I?"
He fell silent.
It was a long moment before he spoke, a trace of fatigue in his voice that was almost too faint to catch.
"Libby, I do have feelings for you."
"These five years, the way you took care of me, I remember it."
"Whatever you want. Compensation, money, a house. Anything I can afford, you can name it."
"As long as you behave and stay away from Christine."
I laughed.
Laughed until the tears came.
"Compensation?"
"Hugh, my five years, my youth, what are you going to pay me back with?"
"I gave you everything, and all I get is a lecture about behaving myself?"
I lunged at him, hitting him, kicking him like a woman gone mad.
"You liar!"
"You bastard!"
He didn't fight back. He let me get it all out.
Until I had no fight left, no tears left, and went limp against him.
He held me gently and sighed.
"Libby, stop this."
"It's already come to this. Dragging it out does no one any good."
"Do as I say, and I won't shortchange you."
I pushed him away, wiped my eyes, and stood up.
"Hugh."
"We're done."
I turned to go back to my room.
He caught my hand.
"Where are you going?"
"Let go of me."
"Libby, don't push me." His voice went cold.
I turned back and looked at him, cold.
"What?"
"You want to lock me up again?"
"Lock me up until Christine has the baby and you hold your wedding with her?"
"Make me your dirty little secret?"
"Hugh, in your dreams!"
I wrenched my hand free, ran back to my room, and locked the door.
Leaning against it, my body slid down before I could stop it.
I hugged my knees, buried my face in my arms, and cried without a sound.
I don't know how long I cried.
Hugh's voice came from outside.
"Libby, open the door."
"Let's talk."
I ignored him.
"Libby, I know you're angry right now."
"But you have to think about your future too."
"Leave me, and you have nothing."
"Stay with me, and at least you'll still live in comfort."
"Think it through."
Then he went quiet.
I lifted my head and looked at the wretched woman in the mirror.
He was right. Leave him, and I had nothing.
But staying with him, would I have any dignity?
No.
I'd only become a joke.
A pet with no soul.
I didn't want that kind of life.
I'd rather have nothing and live on my feet.
I started looking for a chance to run.
This house was covered in cameras.
Every move I made was under his watch.
The one opening was the housekeeper who brought my meals every day.
While she wasn't paying attention, I stole her phone.
Shut in the bathroom, I sent Lucille a message begging for help.
"Lucille, save me."
I deleted the message and slipped the phone back into her pocket.
I didn't know if Lucille would get it.
I didn't know if she would come for me.
All I could do was gamble.
Gamble on whether, in this life, I still had any chance of being free again.
