Two years of IVF, three months pregnant, and here I was at the hospital, asking for the pregnancy to be terminated.
The doctor didn't understand. "This baby wasn't easy to come by. Why would you give it up?"
I yawned. "Because I didn't sleep well last night."
"Does the baby's father know you've made this decision?"
"Well, once you know, doesn't that mean he'll know too…"
I lifted my head and looked at my attending physician. My husband's childhood sweetheart.
She wore a mask over her face, but it couldn't hide her panic.
I was so grateful for the sweet little bubble tea Jude Delgado had ordered for me. It was what kept me awake last night, awake enough to hear that vile little conversation.
"Molly, you really are the clever one. Putting our baby in her belly means you don't have to suffer through pregnancy and childbirth, and I don't have to suffer through all this longing and abstinence."
"Be quieter. You're making such a racket, what if she finds out?"
"I married her. Bearing my child is her duty… She's just a vessel. Once the baby's born, we throw her out, exactly as planned…"
His voice came in broken pieces, threaded through with grunts like some panting dog.
I bit down hard enough to split my lip, just to keep myself from storming in and killing them both.
After I left, dragging my suitcase behind me, I had my assistant put together a video file.
——
"Dr. Lambert, write up the order. The sooner the surgery, the better."
I watched Molly Lambert at my leisure, and I didn't miss the displeasure in her eyes.
This child, the one she'd placed in my belly with her own hands, had to be ended by her own hands too.
But I knew she couldn't bear to.
Her eyes stayed on me, while her fingers flew across her phone screen.
I didn't need to guess. She was reporting to Jude.
"Bella Fox, do you understand what this baby means to you? Your ovarian function has severely declined. This child may be the only one you'll ever have."
"Dr. Lambert, when a patient asks to terminate, do you always counsel against it this devotedly? Or is it just me?"
"It almost seems like you care about this baby more than I do."
Her pupils contracted sharply, and her phone dropped straight onto the desk.
After three seconds of silence, she went back to her gentle persuading.
"Bella, of course I care about this baby. I just can't stand to see everything you've endured these past two years trying to conceive go to waste."
"And termination carries far more risk than you imagine."
I scoffed and pulled a report out of my bag.
"If you really cared about me, why did you forge my checkup results?"
Molly stared at the rush checkup report I'd had done at Central Hospital today, and her face went white in an instant.
Because there it was, in black and white: my ovarian function was completely normal.
She adjusted her mask with one hand and forced herself into a delighted little cheer.
"Bella, congratulations!"
"It must be that all the care and treatment I gave you these past two years has finally paid off. From now on, if you and Jude want a second baby the natural way, there'll be no problem at all."
I knew she'd never admit a thing.
So I made my demand again, my voice cold.
"Then I can get rid of the baby now, right? Since I can have as many as I want later anyway."
I wanted to see just what excuse she'd come up with to stop me this time.
The AC in the room was set to seventy-three degrees, but Molly had already broken into a cold sweat.
She dabbed at it with a tissue before she spoke.
"It's wonderful that your body has recovered, truly. But there's no need to abort the baby over it, is there?"
"You're three months along now. You'll feel the baby move soon. Could you really bear to give up this child just because you couldn't sleep?"
I stared into her eyes and said it word by word.
"Why couldn't I bear it? It's not like I can't have another after this one. He's already keeping me up all night, giving me nightmares. That just proves he'll be born a little debt collector anyway."
