Elwin was quiet for a long time. In the end, he sent back one word:
"Okay."
The screen went dark, and I lit it again, reading those few lines over and over until the brightness stung my eyes dry. Only then did I set the phone down.
I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, and suddenly remembered our graduation day.
The three of us standing together, talking about where we'd go after we finished school.
I wanted New York. The work I wanted to do was there.
Juliana said she wanted to go back to Crestwood, closer to home.
Elwin didn't hesitate. He just said then let's go to Crestwood, and added that the minority follows the majority.
I'd laughed and said fine, as long as the three of us were together it didn't matter where we went.
It wasn't until now that I understood I had never been Elwin's first choice.
Junior year, Elwin and I rented this place near campus, one bedroom and a living room, not big, but I'd made it warm. Painstakingly so.
The toothbrushes were a matching set, one blue and one pink, standing side by side in the cup.
The slippers too, his gray, mine off-white.
The pair of ceramic mugs on the desk had hand-drawn portraits of each other on them. He'd dragged me to a night market to paint them, and they came out crooked.
I'd laughed the whole way home and still set them in the most visible spot, like treasures.
Now, looking at them, they just felt like a joke.
Elwin leaned against the door frame, watching me fold clothes into the suitcase, his tone easy.
"Packing this early? You can't wait to get to Crestwood?"
My hands stopped. I looked up at him and said his name.
"Elwin."
"Hm? What is it?"
I shook my head.
"It's nothing."
And I lowered my head and went back to sorting the clothes.
Just then Juliana came in carrying two milk teas. She changed her shoes and walked straight over to sit on our bed.
"I've already found the place in Crestwood. A big three-bedroom, gets amazing light."
"The biggest room is for you and Elwin, I'll take the one next to yours, and the last one..."
Her eyes brightened, and she turned to glance at Elwin.
"Elwin and I are going to make it a gaming room. We both play, so it's perfect."
My fingers stilled.
I didn't really like games. But back at school, the two of them always liked to hole up together for matches, talking shop, deep in it, while I stood off to the side without a word to add.
She finished, then smacked her own forehead like she'd remembered something and grabbed Elwin's arm.
"I almost forgot the actual thing. Hurry, come help me deal with the moving stuff."
"And our landlord, that busted fridge, how it gets settled, how the deposit comes back. He keeps haggling with me and I can't handle him."
Elwin took two steps as she pulled him along. I frowned and called after him.
"Elwin, I have something to tell you."
He started to turn, but Juliana yanked him back.
"Luna, whatever it is, save it for the airport. Just lend me your boyfriend for two hours, okay?"
And with that, not waiting for me to speak, the two of them walked out side by side.
I stood in the living room, the words let's break up lodged in my throat, going neither up nor down.
Forget it. We're all adults. Three days without contact, and it's a breakup by default.
I stopped thinking about it. I zipped up the packed suitcase, turned, and left.
From here on, Luna Dudley and the two of them would have nothing more to do with each other.
...
When Elwin and Juliana finished packing and set out, Juliana hooked her arm through his without a second thought.
Elwin said nothing, let her hold on, a little distracted.
From the moment they'd walked out, he'd been wondering what it was I'd wanted to tell him, the thing that couldn't even wait until he'd helped Juliana move.
Juliana chattered beside him about the apartment layout and the games, and he just nodded along, not taking in a single word.
He reached the airport in that uneasy state, looking around on reflex, but in the huge departure hall he couldn't find me anywhere.
Juliana let go of his arm and said offhandedly,
"Girls are always slow getting out the door. Just wait, there's still time."
But the minutes ticked by, and with half an hour left before the Crestwood flight boarded, with the gate about to close, he still hadn't seen me.
His hand tightened around the phone. He didn't hesitate any longer and called me. It rang a few times, and then a cold recorded voice came through the receiver.
"The number you have dialed is switched off."
Juliana stood beside him and tugged at his sleeve.
"Maybe her phone died. How about we go through the gate and wait inside?"
Elwin ignored her and walked quickly to the check-in counter, his voice sharp.
"Please page Luna Dudley for me. We're on the six o'clock flight to Crestwood and we can't find her."
The agent looked down to check the system, then raised her eyes to him, something odd in her expression.
"Sir, Ms. Dudley booked the four o'clock flight to New York this afternoon. She boarded two hours ago."
The words struck him like a thunderclap, and he froze where he stood...
