He still went to work during the day and stayed with me at night.
The difference was that before, he'd actually been going to work. Now, he was spending his days with Polly.
Polly's social media had been updated constantly over the past few days. There were posts of Neville picking her up after work, the two of them at an amusement park, and photos of them checking in at a couples' restaurant.
In the pictures, the corners of Neville's mouth curved upward, showing those familiar little canines of his.
I stared at those photos for a long time, because I could no longer remember what Neville looked like when he smiled at me.
The night before his birthday, Neville came home very late.
He'd had too much to drink, and Polly had brought him back.
The bedroom door was open, so I could see everything happening in the living room.
I watched Polly help him out of his jacket and carefully wipe his face with a warm towel.
Neville kept mumbling, "Nobody better bully my Polly. I can drink for her."
Polly laughed softly. "Okay, okay. Polly's drinks are all yours. And so is Polly."
Neville murmured something in reply, too low for me to hear.
It must have been something sweet, because Polly smiled so happily.
After getting Neville settled, Polly actually came into my room.
She saw that I was awake and froze for a moment, then glanced back at Neville on the couch. She understood instantly that I'd seen everything.
"Cat, don't get the wrong idea. I have a competition tomorrow. You know how the people in the company are—they love throwing these pep-rally parties before a show. Neville was worried I'd be off my game tomorrow, so he took my drinks for me."
Polly and I had been friends since childhood.
We'd learned ballet together, gotten into the same dance academy, and after graduation, joined the same company.
I knew which competition she was talking about. It was the biggest ballet competition in the country. Place well, and you'd secure the position of principal dancer. If you were lucky, you might even get scouted by a top international company.
If not for the accident three years ago, I would have been on that stage this year too.
Polly seemed completely oblivious to the fact that she'd just ripped open an old wound.
She turned off the light and lay down on the cot where Neville usually slept.
"Cat, Neville drank too much tonight, so let me take care of you instead. If you need anything, just call for me."
I murmured a quiet acknowledgment.
I thought the night would simply pass like that. Then Polly spoke again.
"Catherine. Have you ever thought about dying?"
My breath caught.
Polly continued. "You know, right? Neville was supposed to be with me. If he were with me, he'd be incredibly successful—rich, everything going his way. He wouldn't have to live the way he does now."
"Do you know what he does on those job sites? He's a construction diver."
My heart lurched.
A construction diver. One of the most dangerous jobs in the world. The work meant descending into deep shafts to retrieve dropped drill bits, except the shafts weren't filled with water—they were filled with mud. The only thing keeping them alive was a single oxygen line.
One wrong move, or one person with bad intentions, and they'd never come back up.
When I didn't respond, Polly's voice turned sharp.
"Catherine, do you understand? Neville told me he loves me, but because of you, he can't be with me. So could you just go ahead and die? Stop clinging to him."
The System had told me the same thing.
Even though I'd heard it before, the pain tore through my chest all over again.
I knew how exhausted Neville was, taking care of me.
I knew Neville would be so much better off without me.
Most importantly, I knew Neville didn't love me anymore.
So when Polly said she could get me sleeping pills, I nodded through my tears.
The next morning, Polly tucked a full bottle of sleeping pills under my pillow and slipped out before Neville woke up.
