The SATs were over, and our homeroom teacher had put together a graduation trip for the whole class.
While the roster was being drawn up, Nicholas Stephens casually crossed out my name.
"Clara Henson's retaking the SATs to get into the top university. She doesn't get to go on the trip."
A snicker came from behind me.
"Her? Get into the top university?"
"With her scores, she couldn't get in even if she retook it ten times."
My sister shot the boy a glare and took my hand with a smile.
"Getting into the top university isn't hard, Clara."
"Spend a little less energy on Nicholas and you'll definitely make it."
One of them had a photographic memory, a true genius. The other had skipped three grades, a child prodigy.
How could either of them understand what it was like to be an ordinary person like me?
That even giving it everything I had, I still couldn't keep pace with them.
I clutched the trip plan booklet I'd put together and lowered my head with a small smile.
"I'm not retaking it. My scores are enough to get me into an ordinary teaching college."
"For someone like me, becoming a teacher would be plenty."
Rising above everyone, making a name for themselves, that was their dream.
An ordinary person like me.
I only wanted to live out my life the way I liked, steady and at peace.
——
Hearing that, Nicholas knit his brows.
"Clara, how can you have so little ambition?"
"So what if you failed once? You've got me and Pat Henson to tutor you. What is there to worry about?"
Going by my original scores, getting into a solid, well-regarded state school wouldn't have been a problem.
But when they split us into tracks junior year, Nicholas insisted the humanities were for people going nowhere and forced me into the science track.
My grades nosedived because of it.
Landing this score at all was already me outperforming myself.
Seeing me lower my head and say nothing, Nicholas snatched the booklet out of my hands.
He gave it one glance, then ripped it to shreds.
"Nothing in your head but having fun. No wonder you can't get into a good school."
"Clara, do you really plan to waste your whole life like this?"
Irritated, he scribbled over my name twice more.
"If you can't get into the top university, then don't count on being with me."
"I can accept a girlfriend who isn't smart enough, but I can't accept some deadweight in my life who has no drive to better herself!"
The Nicholas of before had never talked to me like this.
He used to run wild with me on the hillsides.
He used to tell me how amazing I was, able to name every plant there was.
But once we got to the city, once he met Pat, another genius.
His disdain for me could no longer be hidden.
I didn't respond to Nicholas's anger, and I didn't grovel to soothe his temper the way I once would have.
I bent down and carefully taped the torn booklet back together, piece by piece.
My doing that only made him angrier.
His hand hung in the air for a long moment.
In the end he grabbed Pat and left without a backward glance.
At dinner that night, the two of them happened to sit right across from me again.
Nicholas ordered the waiter to swap out the plain broth pot in front of him, his face cold as he shot me a look.
"Someone who's given up on her own life has no right to eat at the same table as me."
Pat, sitting beside him, kicked him under the table.
She put a fresh helping of food onto my plate.
"Clara, don't listen to Nicholas talk nonsense. He's just got that awful temper of his."
"His mouth's a little vicious, but his heart isn't bad. Eat this one instead, it's not spicy."
I was the one who'd grown up alongside Nicholas.
Yet Pat seemed to understand him better than I did.
I took a bite of the food Pat had given me and my whole face flushed red, choking on the chili peppers hidden inside.
Nicholas kept that same stony face, yet he went ahead and asked the waiter for a glass of mango juice.
"Clara, how can you be this useless? You can't even manage to eat properly."
