Xander waited all week, but Connie never came over. So much for wishful thinking that a middle schooler could pull a high school junior.
Interestingly, Pippa stopped by mid-week while he was working at the new building sites.
Even though it was barely above freezing out, he was sweating his ass off, manhandling the chopped-down trees.
"Hey," she said shyly.
"Hey, yourself."
She wouldn't look him in the eye, so he was a dick and waited her out. She was obviously uncomfortable.
"Uhm ... so..." Pippa faltered.
"Yes?"
"Are you and Kelly dating now?"
"If we are, I wasn't told," Xander said.
"Oh ... okay."
Pippa gave him a tight smile, turned, and left him standing there.
'That was different,' Xander thought and returned to work.
His mom and Izzy got home on Sunday. Xander had made stew in the slow cooker and biscuits he'd found in the freezer.
Izzy came bounding in, sniffing the air like a bloodhound tracking a scent.
"I must be in the wrong house. Did grandma help you?"
His mom was right behind her and appeared confused as well.
"I've survived a whole week without your abuse," Xander teased. "I have access to the Internet. If you looked it up, I bet even you could make something edible."
"I don't care who made it; I'm starved," his mom said. "Izzy, please set the table so we can eat."
They sat down, and his mom and sister each took a bite and looked up in surprise.
"It's settled. You can cook from now on," his mom declared.
"I'm sure you'd get sick of stew after a while," Xander said.
"You've been holding out," Izzy said. "What did you eat while we were gone?"
"Manly stuff. I mostly grilled."
"Since you're such a man, you can unload the van after dinner. For now, just stack it all up in your dad's parking spot in the garage," his mom said. "And Izzy can clean up after we eat."
"What are you going to do?" Xander asked.
"I'm taking a long, hot bath. Traffic was terrible in Dallas, and I never want to go back. I'm exhausted."
"What happened while we were gone?" Izzy asked.
He thought for a moment and realized that news of the party would reach either Izzy or his mom soon. He decided it would be better if he told them.
"Our new neighbors had a party, so I crashed it," Xander said. "I guess Mr. and Mrs. Turner went somewhere for the weekend."
"I see. And what did you do?" his mom asked.
"Not much more than I did at the dance, except I didn't punch anyone."
He recognized that his mom wasn't done with her questions, but she let it go for the moment.
On Monday, Xander stepped into the lunch line behind Pippa.
"You eating with anyone?" Xander asked.
Pippa glanced around until she figured out he was talking to her.
"Oh ... uh ... not really."
"Good. Please join me," Xander said.
"Uhm ... sure."
She waited for him to pay. He walked over to the Princesses' table and sat beside Pam.
"You know Pippa, don't you?" Xander asked as he and Pippa sat down.
"Kelly said she went to your party," Pam said to Pippa.
The rest of the gang joined them, so Xander made sure that they knew who Pippa was. It was a small school, so they all did. Pippa said shy hellos and then sat quietly.
"Xander is Pippa's neighbor," Kelly said to help explain why he invited her to lunch.
"But you don't ride our bus," Pam said.
"She has older sisters who give her a ride," Xander said to help Pippa out.
"Kelly told me you kissed her," Pam said.
"I was thanking her for dancing with me," Xander said.
"You never kissed me after we danced," Barb complained.
"I'm so sorry," Xander said, standing up and walking around the table.
He held his hand out and helped Barb stand before leaning in and kissing her in the middle of the lunchroom, which caught everyone's attention.
"Did I miss anyone else?" Xander asked.
The other girls he'd danced with declined a kiss, but Pippa tentatively raised her hand to about shoulder height. Xander sat down next to Pippa and kissed her cheek, causing her to blush.
"Hey, Xander!" Kevin called across the lunchroom. "You're officially the Rizzmaster again! Steve just lost his crown."
Xander said something rude under his breath. Apparently, it was loud enough for the girls at his table to hear because they laughed at his discomfort.
"Kelly told me something else. Is it true?" Pam asked.
"If it's what I think, I will happily tell you when we're alone."
It was Pam's turn to blush.
"What are you talking about?" Stacy asked.
"Xander says I have nice tits," Kelly said.
"How would he know that?" Peggy asked.
"Yes, Kelly, how would I?" Xander asked.
Kelly's face told the girls all they needed to know. For some reason, Xander was kicked off the table for 'girl talk.'
He took his lunch tray to the guys' table.
"Dude, what did you do to get exiled?" Donnie asked.
"No idea."
Gasps could be heard from the girls' table, and in unison, the girls all turned and stared at Xander. He gave Kelly a hooded look. She at least had the decency to look down at her lunch.
"Why are they all looking at you?" KJ asked.
"No idea."
"Yeah, right. You seem to have 'no idea' about a lot of stuff," Kevin said.
"If you were smart, you would have no idea about a lot of stuff when it comes to women," Xander fired back.
"Dude!" Donnie said, trying to get him to fist-bump him.
Xander rolled his eyes and left Donnie hanging.
"I will say one thing: Kelly has excellent tits," Xander said.
"Whoa!" Donnie said as every guy turned and stared at Kelly.
Xander gave her a little smile and stuck the tip of his tongue out to signal he'd just paid her back. The little vixen lifted her head and pulled her shoulders back to better display her assets.
"They are nice," Mike said with sudden interest.
The guys caught Xander up on everything they'd done over the break. Donnie claimed to have nailed some girl at a New Year's Eve party. He further claimed she was a college girl, which caused John to spin another tale. Thankfully, the bell rang to end lunch.
Xander hurried up and walked out with Pippa.
"How'd it go?" he asked.
"They invited me back tomorrow. Thanks."
"They're a good bunch. They'll make good friends," Xander said.
Pippa gave him a little smile as they parted to go to their lockers.
While he waited for the bus, Kelly and Pam tracked him down.
"John Tyler asked me out," Kelly announced. "We should double-date."
Pam looked hopefully at Xander.
"I had no idea you were into that kind of stuff. Have you told John?" Xander asked, acting scandalized.
Pam cracked up while Kelly looked confused.
"Xander thinks he's being funny. He's implying it will just be the three of you."
Kelly's mouth fell open, and she turned to glare at Xander.
"You know what I meant: ask Pam out," Kelly demanded.
"I have no idea what we're doing, but if you want to do it with me, I would like to ask you to join us," Xander said.
"When Kelly knows, I'll make sure to tell you," Pam said.
Xander reached down and held her hand. Pam snuggled up next to him.
When the bus pulled up, Pam led him to the back. Some grade schoolers had made the mistake of taking the back seats. Pam just gave them the laser death glare, and all the grade schoolers headed toward the front of the bus.
Once the proper pecking order was reestablished, Pam pushed Xander into one of the back seats, with Kelly in the one across from them. Pam made a big show of kissing Xander to publicly re-stake her claim.
'I guess we're dating again,' Xander thought, a bit confused.
The old man had to calm down young Xander because Pam had flaked out before when he didn't do as she demanded. Did he want someone to boss him around or to be an equal? In the short term, having the queen bee seen as his girlfriend would undeniably raise his popularity.
Again, the old man raised his objection because he didn't give a fuck about popularity.
Xander decided to play along for now because nothing official had been said. Going out on a date didn't mean they were back together.
Pam and Kelly had their heads together all the way to their stop, so Xander just stared out the window. He began to question whether he could handle the drama that seemed to be unfolding.
As she got off at her stop, Pam said she'd call him later.
Two older girls were sitting in front of him, and he happened to catch part of their whispered conversation.
"His cock was so small that I didn't even feel it. I need to find someone with a big one so I can find out how it feels."
Xander smiled because he remembered overhearing this conversation his last time through. He'd not acted on it because he wasn't confident he might not have a tiny cock as well, and didn't want to be ridiculed.
Then he remembered who was sitting there: Chantel Darling and Brandi Nichols, who were both freshmen. They lived in the trailer park that was the stop before his, and were basically ignored by everyone. It wasn't all due to their looks-neither girl was what you would call good-looking-though they did have features that would interest most teen boys.
Chantel had the beginnings of a body that would make her excellent money as either a stripper or a porn star. She had platinum blonde hair that had come from a bottle, wide hips, and the start of an impressive rack. If Xander remembered correctly, she'd fucked half the football team her senior year.
The guys joked that if they closed their eyes, they were fine.
Brandi was a tiny girl, all of four-ten. Xander had gotten a predilection for small girl/big dick porn in his past life, and Brandi was the type of girl that made his dick hard. Her best feature was a fantastic ass.
He wasn't sure what had happened to her because she'd moved by her junior year. If he remembered correctly, her dad was a trucker and got a job down south.
Of the two, he would've bet anything that the words he'd just heard came out of Chantel's mouth. He was surprised it was Brandi who was looking for dick.
The old man basically told the kid to hold his beer.
"I could help you out," Xander said.
Both girls slowly turned around to look at him.
"But you're a middle schooler," Chantel challenged.
"That wasn't the requirement."
They looked at each other and then back at Xander.
"Prove it," Brandi said.
His young self folded, and the old man took over.
"Why don't you come back here, and I'll show you?" Xander suggested.
Brandi glanced around, but no one seemed to be listening to them. Xander was shocked when she got up and slid into his seat. Still, he unzipped his jeans and grabbed Brandi's hand.
"Slow down. What are you doing?" Brandi asked.
"You wanted to find out, and I don't plan on exposing myself ... so..."
She reached inside his fly and found his stiff member. Her eyes got big, and she blinked.
"Well?" Chantel asked.
Brandi's hand jerked out of his jeans like she'd been bitten by a snake.
"Uhm."
"You want me to get off at your stop?" Xander asked.
Brandi suddenly looked panicked.
"Not today; my dad's home. But he leaves tomorrow for five days. Can we do it then?"
Xander at first couldn't believe his ears. He took a moment to consider the logistics. He needed to get a car like yesterday. It was only a mile and a half from the trailer park to his home, which wasn't so bad, except it was all uphill. Xander would bring his gym clothes and just run home afterward.
"That works," he said.
Xander was chipping branches when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. It was Connie, so he turned off the machine. She seemed amused.
"I thought I would be proactive because I'm sure you need advice," Connie said.
"I do?"
"Pippa has talked nonstop about how you introduced her to the Princesses and that she's been invited to have lunch with them. After hearing about your exploits, I think my sister's in love with you."
"Uhm ... okay."
Connie shook her head in disgust.
"You boys are all the same. You have no idea what's best for you."
Xander held up a hand.
"No, slow down, Connie; I think you need some context."
"I'm listening," she said.
"The first time I ever spent any time with your sister was at your party. I danced with her and ... uhm ... the girl that bailed when you needed some help," Xander said.
"Yeah, I know: Kelly Flint."
'Why do I even try?' Xander wondered.
"Anyway. The unnamed girl and I were making out while ... you know..."
Connie motioned for him to carry on.
"So your sister showed up the other day while I was working and acted weird. I wondered if maybe she wanted to see my dick," Xander said.
"Say what?!"
"Yeah, I know; I finally figured out she's shy. But I had a reason to believe that because the unnamed girl felt my package and decided I have a big dick," Xander said.
That caused Connie to have a genuine belly laugh, which made Xander's right eye twitch.
"The reason I thought that was that the unnamed girl threatened to spread the word that I have an impressive package. Knowing this town, I assumed Pippa heard, and that was why she was acting nervous," he explained.
"Okay, I can see that because the rumor mill around here is legendary," Connie said, then asked, "Why did you invite Pippa to lunch?"
"Because I realized I was wrong, and she seems not to have many friends. I eat lunch with the Princesses about once a week and figured they would accept Pippa. I hoped it might give her some confidence."
"So you didn't do it to get into my sister's pants?"
"No, but word has gotten out, and part of it is my fault. I do need some advice," Xander said.
He explained his situation with Pam and what happened with Chantel and Brandi.
"Let's deal with the Chantel and Brandi thing first. I don't know either of them, but I've heard rumors about Chantel," Connie said.
Xander got a dreamy look to pull Connie's chain and said, "She's so sweet and innocent. I just adore her."
"Sweet and innocent? Hah!" Connie said. "She's the biggest slut at West Fork High. I hate to speak ill of a fellow girl, but hell, she gives up the pussy like she's handing out free ice cream cones in the middle of August."
"Sounds like you know something."
"Yes, I do. Carl has snuck off with her a time or two and thinks I don't know," Connie admitted.
Xander couldn't see Connie not knowing Chantel like she said. But then, if she did, she would have at least had a few words with her about poaching her boyfriend. Then something else struck him.
"You should even the score," Xander said, then bit his bottom lip.
"Not happening, middle-schooler."
"What about Brandi? Any rumors?"
"No. I say you punch your V-card and get that out of the way. If Brandi really is dumb enough to do it with you, then have at it. I would wear a condom, though, if she was talking about fucking some other boy. Those two hang around some guys I wouldn't want to follow, if you get my meaning," Connie said.
"That's sort of a problem. Where am I going to get condoms?"
Her expression told him he was an idiot.
"Fourteen, remember?" he asked.
"Don't they give them away at school?" Connie asked.
"Middle school? You can't be serious," Xander said.
She chuckled.
"Okay, you're right. Tell you what: I'll take you somewhere so you can buy them."
"You'll need to come in and help me pick them out."
"Why?"
"Because there are like a bunch of different kinds. Plus, you've seen my dick. Do I have to get the extra-large ones?" Xander asked, tongue firmly in cheek.
Connie called him a fucktard. Xander wondered if she was even allowed to use that phrase anymore.
"If you want to get laid, I bet you're motivated enough to figure this stuff out," Connie said.
"Sorry, I was just giving you a hard time. But I would appreciate you giving me a ride."
"Let's go now. That way, we can talk about your Pam issue."
They drove into town, and Xander had her take him to Donnie's parents' pharmacy. On the way there, Connie asked him a bunch of questions about Pam. She said she'd think about it while he was in the store.
Xander decided to purchase a supply sufficient to hold him until he got his license. He hadn't bought any in years and had no idea how long they would remain safe to use. So, with all that in mind, he walked to the back to talk to the pharmacist. As luck would have it, it was Mr. Wilson, Donnie's dad.
"How may I help you?"
"I want to buy a supply of condoms and need to know how long they'll last," Xander said.
Mr. Wilson looked like he was about to lecture Xander, so Xander cut him off.
"Can I give you a tip? If you simply give me the information, I'll spread the word to all my classmates. I'll tell them if they ever need to buy condoms, they should come here because there are no questions asked, and they won't be looked down on for buying them."
Mr. Wilson took a beat to absorb that and then nodded.
"Okay, there are three main types. Lambskin has the shortest shelf life. They're generally safe to use up to a year after their manufacture. The ones with a spermicide or that are made with something other than latex or polyurethane are good for about three years. The latex and polyurethane are good for five years. These days, they all have expiration dates printed on the wrapper," Mr. Wilson said.
"Which would you recommend?" Xander asked.
"It depends. If you're using them because you're worried about getting someone pregnant, I would lean toward using the ones with a spermicide; it would give me peace of mind. If you're wearing them to prevent an STI, go with the latex or polyurethane. They're the cheapest and quite effective.
"I would also avoid getting the larger sizes because most of them really aren't larger, and they charge a premium to stroke your vanity," Mr. Wilson said.
Mr. Wilson walked around the counter and led Xander to the display. He showed Xander which ones he probably wanted. Xander decided on the spermicide ones because the last thing he wanted was a baby. Hell, his mom wouldn't let him get a puppy because she suspected-probably rightly-that she'd end up taking care of it.
In later years, when he took in his niece, she could at least care for herself. He would be clueless about changing diapers and the like. Still, Xander planned to help his sister stay on the right path this time around so he wouldn't end up taking care of his niece.
Mr. Wilson was amused when Xander asked him to go into the back to get more boxes of the ones he wanted. He might be thinking a little ambitiously, but he hoped he would do it more than thirty-six times by the time he was sixteen.
He used his handy debit card to buy them. Mr. Wilson glanced at the name on the card and then at Xander.
"You're the Xander who's in my son's class?"
"Yes."
"I think I need to have a talk with my son when I get home."
"You might want to have multiple talks with Donnie. It may take that for everything to sink in," Xander said.
"You're probably right," Mr. Wilson said, handing Xander his bag. "Don't forget to recommend us."
"Will do. Thanks."
Of course, Connie was scandalized when she saw how many Xander bought. Then she launched into her advice about Pam.
"Middle school relationships aren't real, so if I were you, I would go on your date. I wouldn't tie yourself down if you plan to spend time with Brandi. You don't want to be the guy who's sneaking around, cheating on his girlfriend, even if it isn't real. You'll get labeled, and no one will want to go out with you."
Xander was about to object, but Connie cut him off.
"You've already seen how quickly stuff gets around. There's no way that you having sex with Brandi will remain a secret."
She had a point.
Xander thanked Connie for taking him. He considered asking if she'd be willing to show him how to put one on, but the old man inside him shut that down. Now, he would need to hide them somewhere his little sister wouldn't find them.
