"You lost your temper at me, over an outsider." I stated it plainly, just the fact. "Phineas, you promised you'd never snap at me."
Phineas blinked, then let out a small, helpless laugh.
He thought I was jealous. He lifted a hand to pinch my cheek, a light, indulgent exasperation in his voice.
"Beryl, stop fussing. What are you imagining now?"
"We've spoiled you too much, that's the problem. It's made you read too much into everything."
I turned away from his hand.
Lowering my eyes, I rubbed at the needle marks dotting my skin.
"Phineas, Miss Carlton came to Searborough because you promised to show her around. She isn't here to donate marrow at all, is she?"
The room went dead silent.
That silence said more than any excuse could.
I leaned back against the headboard and turned my gaze to the window, not looking at him anymore.
"I'd like to be alone for a while."
"Go take her sightseeing. Searborough is huge. Flower fields, night markets, theme parks, it has everything."
Anyone could see I was sulking.
And somewhere underneath it, I was hoping. Hoping he'd notice how hurt I was, that he'd stay and coax me out of it.
But Mona only dabbed at her eyes. "Phineas, let's just forget it. Beryl isn't well. It's fine if I skip the sightseeing."
If anything, those words made up his mind for him.
"This has nothing to do with you."
He cut her off, pressing his temple with a tired sigh. "I don't go back on my word. Don't put yourself through that."
The two of them walked out of the room side by side.
Phineas pulled the door shut behind him. The latch clicked, leaving me alone in a cold, empty world.
A nurse pushed the door open, medication in hand.
She looked at the empty room, a little confused. "Mr. Harding isn't with you? He just got back, didn't he? Why would he leave already?"
I gave a faint nod.
"Honestly, that man. You're about to have surgery and he does this?" The nurse muttered, disapproving. "And he brought a girl back with him, too."
"It's all right," I said softly.
The needle slid into pale, thin skin.
Every mark on my arms was proof of pain I'd ridden out alone.
My parents were running all over the world, chasing down doctors, searching for a marrow match for me.
The only one beside me was Phineas.
He'd proposed when we graduated college, and then I had the bad luck to be diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia.
Phineas swore on the spot that he would never abandon me.
At least both our families were well-off, with the means to pay for my treatment.
No worries about money, and a beautiful love to hold onto.
I used to believe that if I just fought hard enough against the illness, Phineas and I could walk into the future together.
Maybe I was simply too naive.
By the time the treatment was done, the sky had gone dark. The nurse smoothed the tape into place and gave me the usual reminders, no moving around, no getting too worked up.
"And stop dwelling on the things that upset you."
She was trying to comfort me. "Didn't the match come through overseas? Your father even called today, asking us to help get everything ready."
"Mm. My flight's tomorrow morning." I gave a small smile.
The nurse tucked in the corner of my blanket. "Is Mr. Harding buying his own ticket?"
I froze for a beat, and a hollow ripple spread through my chest.
I'd booked Phineas's ticket long ago. Same flight as mine, a window seat.
But I had no intention of giving it to him.
I shook my head, my voice flat. "There's no need. He isn't coming."
The nurse looked startled.
"You're still sick. How can you take a long international flight all by yourself?"
"I can manage on my own."
The hardest rounds of chemo I'd always carried alone, and the searing pain when the illness flared, I'd endured that alone too.
I'd never once cried out.
Whether he was there beside me or not, maybe it had stopped mattering a long time ago.
