But I couldn't say it.
No one would believe it.
He hid our secret marriage so well for seven years.
No one knew about our relationship except our family and assistants.
I used to think that he really wanted to protect me from the media, that he was a low-key, introverted and unpretentious husband.
Until five months ago, Lilian came. She was Conrad's cousin. She stood at my door with tears in her eyes and a bulging belly. She said that her boyfriend got her pregnant and ran away.
Conrad just frowned and took her in.
He personally arranged prenatal check ups, even with just a phone call, he would drop everything and run over at any time of day or night.
For Lilian, he abandoned me countless times.
When we watched a movie, he answered the phone and left, but when he came back, he said "work is important".
When we had a dinner, he said he had something urgent to do and asked me to have a dinner on my own.
Even when we were on a business trip abroad, as soon as Lilian cried out, he immediately changed the flight ticket and left me alone to return home.
He was even afraid that Lilian would have a bad reputation if she got pregnant before getting married, so he never denied it every time others misunderstood them as husband and wife when they went out.
I thought he was just kind enough to take care of his relatives and wait for the child to be born and everything would be fine.
Now, it seemed, everything was just a facade.
If it was just simple taking care of someone, how could he let the child call him "Dad"?
I stood up with my body propped up, my forehead already oozing cold sweat and my stomach throbbing violently.
Even passersby could see my discomfort, but Conrad never laid his eyes on me for even a moment.
After sending the divorce agreement to my lawyer friend, I didn't hesitate and made an appointment for an abortion the next day.
When I saw the words "Appointment successful", my heart sank.
Just one more week and I would be leaving.
This week, I had to deal the past with Conrad, including this child.
I went back home, opened the drawers in my room one by one and began packing up the traces of my life over the years.
Couple clothes, wedding photos, anniversary accessories ....
I packed and sealed all the things that belonged to "us" one by one and stuffed the things I didn't want to take away into the garbage bag.
When I was carrying the garbage downstairs, I happened to see Conrad's car parked at the door.
He was getting out of the car, holding the child in his arms and beside him was Lilian, who was holding his arm with a gentle smile.
Neighbors from the community gathered around, some taking photos and others giving gifts.
"Oh, Mr. Helderman, you're finally back. The little boy looks so much like you, you guys are simply carved from the same mold."
"Congratulations, you are so blessed!"
He did not deny their relationship, just smiled and exchanged pleasantries, with pride and indulgence in his eyes.
I walked past them expressionlessly, threw the garbage bag into the trash can and turned back to the corridor.
But before I could close the door, he suddenly caught up with me, gave me a complicated expression and lowered his head to pick something out of the trash can.
It was our wedding photo. The edges of the photo had turned yellow due to coffee stains, but we could still see what we looked like back then.
We smiled brightly and only had eyes for each other.
"Why did you throw out your wedding photos?"
His voice was not loud, but it was full of anger. "What do you mean?"
I looked at his panicked face and suppressed the emotions surging in my chest.
It was not the right time yet, I couldn't talk about divorce.
My mother-in-law, Elena Helderman, had a bad temper. If she knew we wanted a divorce, she would definitely not agree and might even threaten to commit suicide.
I wanted to cut it off cleanly and thoroughly before she noticed it.
I asked in a low voice, "Then why did you hide the newborn baby party from me today?"
"When did you decide to let that child call you "Dad"? When did you decide to be the father of someone else's child?"
I pressed on step by step, my tone unconsciously taking on a sharp edge.
Conrad frowned. He was about to speak when Lilian, with red eyes, ran up from downstairs quickly and spoke aggrievedly.
"Serena, don't blame my cousin. It's my fault. I didn't handle it well. Some people said I was immoral and shameless because I because I was pregnant with a child without a father ... and that no one recognized my child ...."
She sobbed and wiped away her tears, her voice soft and delicate.
"He said he was the father of the child at the party for me ... I didn't expect to make you unhappy. I'm sorry, Serena, please don't be angry ...."
Before I could say anything, she burst into tears, tears streaming down her face.
