I was still planning to go to the reunion.
Back in high school I'd always gotten along well with my classmates, and this was probably the last time I'd see them before I left. I wanted to say goodbye.
But I waited at home for two full hours, and Elijah never came to pick me up.
In the end I took a cab to the hotel alone.
I'd barely reached the corridor outside the private room when I saw Elijah standing by the window with a few of his old buddies, smoking.
One of his friends couldn't seem to help himself.
"Elijah, is it true Jeanette really kissed you that day?"
Elijah kept his head down, the red glow at his fingertips flickering across a face I couldn't read.
"I know you all think I'm a bastard, but in that moment my heart really did race."
He exhaled a slow stream of smoke, his voice carrying a confusion even he couldn't quite explain.
"I always used to think that in this life, apart from Beryl, I'd never feel anything for another woman."
"But when she kissed me that day, I realized... turns out that's not true either."
"When Jeanette kissed me, my whole scalp went tingling. It was a rush Beryl never gave me."
His friend frowned.
"But she's Beryl's best friend. What are you going to do?"
Elijah gave a bitter smile and stubbed out his cigarette.
"I never meant to actually do something to wrong Beryl."
"Once Beryl has the baby, I'll keep my distance from Jenny and go back to how things were."
He closed his eyes for a moment.
"Beryl's like the meals I eat every day. She's been part of my life for so long. I can't be without her."
Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting!!
Every word out of Elijah's mouth was like a rotting maggot burrowing into my brain.
I couldn't listen anymore. I stumbled into the restroom, gripped the counter, and heaved dryly.
The Elijah of eighteen wasn't like this.
He used to say that except for me, having any other girl come close left him uncomfortable in his own skin.
And now he was admitting out loud that another woman gave him a bigger rush.
The hypocrite. His heart had already turned, and still he wouldn't let me go.
I wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes, grateful I'd tricked him into signing the divorce papers ahead of time.
"Beryl?"
The familiar voice came from behind me.
At some point Jeanette had come to stand in the restroom doorway, and now she pulled out a tissue as if to wipe my mouth for me.
I turned away on instinct.
Her hand froze, and her face slowly went cold.
"What's the act for? Beryl, you find out your husband likes someone else and you don't dare ask a single question, but you've got the nerve to make faces at me?"
I went cold all over, my eyes red as I looked at this friend of ten years and felt like I was staring at a stranger.
Countless demands stuck in my throat. In the end all I managed was a trembling word.
"Why?"
Jeanette laughed, mocking.
"Because I hate you. Why should it be that we went to the same schools, lived through the same things, and yet you get to marry your childhood sweetheart, have a happy marriage, have everyone envy you?"
"And me? With a good man like Elijah for comparison, no one ever measured up. I married whoever, and in the end I got divorced."
She stepped closer, one pace at a time, the envy in her eyes almost solid enough to touch.
"Beryl, see? Your marriage isn't as unbreakable as you thought."
"All I did was be a little gentle with Elijah, lean on him a little, and he started to feel something for me."
"You really think I only kissed him that day because I was drunk?"
"No."
"I did it on purpose."
"I wanted you to see with your own eyes that the husband you love most could feel desire for your best friend!"
Slap!
I couldn't hold back anymore. I struck her hard across the face.
My palm stung, but it was nothing next to the pain of being betrayed by the person I trusted.
Jeanette tilted her head, her gaze drifting slowly to my swollen belly, her voice light enough to chill.
"Beryl, you're so proud. There's no way you'd keep a man whose heart has turned."
"So hand Elijah over to me."
The words had barely left her when she shoved me hard, then used the force to throw herself against the sharp edge of the faucet beside her.
"Aah!!"
The scream rang out.
I dropped to the floor before I could catch myself, a splitting pain tearing through my belly, my vision going black.
The restroom door burst open.
"Sweetheart—"
Elijah rushed in, but the instant he took a step toward me,
Jeanette clutched her bleeding forehead and called out to him, choking on her sobs.
"Elijah, I'm sorry. I won't come near you again."
Her eyes were rimmed red, tears sliding down through the blood.
"Beryl told me everything. She knew I kissed you that day, that's why she hates me so much."
"I admit it, I fell for you, I couldn't help wanting to be near you..."
"But I never once thought of taking you from her. From now on... let's just leave it like this."
When she finished, she turned unsteadily to go.
Elijah barely hesitated. He caught her and pulled her tight against him.
His hands fumbled to wipe the blood from her forehead, his voice shaking.
"Don't say any more. I'll take you to the hospital."
"Elijah!"
I couldn't help calling out to him, one hand pressed to my searing belly, tears falling beyond my control.
His child was still in me.
And he ignored me and held someone else.
When Elijah looked back at me, his eyes were full of disappointment.
"Beryl, Jenny was bullied before. You know full well she's still scarred by it, and you still turned violence on her."
"She only fell for me, and she's held herself back the whole time. She never once thought about breaking us up."
"Why can't you just let her be? Ever since you got pregnant you've gotten more and more extreme. In a couple of days maybe we need to find you a therapist."
With that, he held Jeanette and turned away, abandoning me again.
I sat crumpled on the cold, damp tiles, the pain in my belly growing worse.
Watching that retreating back, I thought of our wedding day, when Elijah held me with red eyes and said, over and over,
"Sweetheart, as long as you need me, through fire and flood, I'll be at your side the moment you call."
But he didn't do it.
In the second before I lost consciousness, I couldn't help thinking: if only I'd never met Elijah the year I was five.
