That afternoon, before I went to hand over the divorce papers, I booked a flight to France for two weeks out.
Five years ago, my parents had moved the company to France. I chose to stay behind for Elijah.
Now there was no reason left to stay.
More than that, I no longer dared to give birth here.
I didn't know whether, at the moment I needed someone most, these two people beside me would abandon me all over again and leave me to fend for myself.
When I came downstairs, I found Elijah and Jeanette sitting at the breakfast table, chatting and laughing over their food.
He was patiently picking the cilantro out of Jeanette's bowl, stalk by stalk, then turned to remind the housekeeper,
"From now on, no cilantro in the cooking. And no mango in the desserts."
The housekeeper looked caught.
"Dessert's fine, but the missus likes cilantro."
"Then leave it in. I don't eat it anyway." Jeanette rolled her eyes at Elijah with a coy little pout.
Elijah said, all indulgence,
"Fine, then I'll pick it out for you from now on, Your Highness."
My nails were sinking into my palms, a fine, needling pain spreading through them, and I felt none of it.
There was a time Elijah knew every one of my likes and dislikes down to the last detail, and never gave a thought to Jeanette's.
I'd told him more than once that Jeanette was allergic to mango, that she didn't like cilantro.
He never remembered.
Now he'd finally memorized hers, and forgotten mine.
Slowly, I unclenched my hand.
Once, I'd believed my husband would shield me and my friend would stand by me, so I'd handed over my whole heart without holding anything back.
From now on, I would have to learn to love myself.
I sat down and heaped cilantro on my little wontons.
Elijah's expression stalled for a beat. Only when he saw I wasn't angry did he speak.
"Sweetheart, Jenny's divorced, she's got nowhere to stay right now. We've always kept a room for her here, haven't we? Let her stay for the time being."
Jeanette took my hand too and let out a soft little sigh.
"Beryl, you know I'd never want to be the third wheel between you two if I had any other choice. I'll move out the moment I find a place."
I watched the two of them trade their lines back and forth, my chest tight enough to ache, and couldn't help the barb.
"I have so many houses in my name. Does it have to be this one?"
Elijah's face darkened, and it came straight out of him.
"Beryl Simmons, when did you get so cold? Jenny's a young woman on her own. Do you know how dangerous it is for her to live somewhere by herself?"
Jeanette tugged at his sleeve at once, frowning in reproach.
"Don't snap at Beryl. She's pregnant, her moods are all over the place as it is, and maybe she's still upset about last night."
She gave Elijah a light punch.
"Can't you coax her a little? If the two of us fall out because of this, I'll never forgive you."
My stomach heaved, the nausea so bad I nearly threw up, and I stood to go.
Elijah caught me, his eyes full of remorse.
"Sweetheart, I didn't skip picking you up last night on purpose. I was just so tired I fell asleep by accident. Don't be angry, all right?"
He changed the subject, clumsily.
"Right, which place did you have your eye on yesterday? Anything else you like? I'll buy all of it for you."
Before I could open my mouth, Jeanette had already looped her arm through mine, elbowing Elijah aside, and said with a sweet, needling smile,
"Beryl already has plenty of houses."
"Elijah, you really have no idea what women like. You're a complete block of wood."
Elijah instantly held up his phone to argue back.
"Who says I don't? That three-million-dollar pink diamond I bought you the other day, weren't you thrilled to death?"
The purchase record on his phone crashed into view before I could brace for it.
I froze where I stood.
Ever since I got pregnant, Elijah had been treating Jeanette better and better.
Before, he wouldn't so much as buy her a bottle of water.
Now, every time he came back from a business trip, he brought the exact same gift for me and for her.
He said it was loving me so much it spilled over onto the people close to me.
I'd thought that was already too much.
But it turned out he'd been giving Jeanette gifts behind my back all along, ones I didn't get.
And that pink diamond.
It was the very one I'd stood at the counter loving.
Back then, Elijah had only said pink diamonds don't hold their value, there was no point buying it.
And then he'd turned around and bought it for Jeanette.
The corner of my mouth twitched. I felt like my old self had been a joke.
Elijah caught the look on my face and quickly locked the screen, his voice thin.
"Sweetheart, I didn't tell you because I didn't want you reading into it."
"Jenny's been in a bad way lately. I was just... coaxing her a little, on your behalf."
I dodged his hand, worn out.
"On my behalf?"
Elijah, you've told so many lies. Have you started believing them yourself?
Jeanette suddenly bowed her head, her eyes going red.
"Beryl, have I upset you somehow? If you really mind, I can go stay at a hotel..."
"Don't be silly."
Elijah cut her off at once.
"You're Beryl's best friend. How could she possibly mind you staying here?"
His eyes were full of tenderness, his voice impossibly gentle.
The corner of my mouth twitched again. I turned and walked away.
Stay if she wants to.
I was leaving soon anyway.
Who lived in this house had nothing to do with me anymore.
Elijah hurried after me.
"Sweetheart, where do you think you're going with that belly? Isn't your OB-GYN checkup today? I'll come with you."
Then he turned back to remind Jeanette,
"You drank so much last night. Remember to have plenty of soup."
For the first time, I stood on the outside and watched Elijah care for another woman like this.
Attentive. Patient. Gentle.
All the things that had once belonged to me alone, it turned out, could be handed to someone else without any effort at all.
Jeanette gave a few soft coughs.
"My head hurts a bit, I think I'm coming down with something. Since you're both going to the hospital anyway, take me along too."
Elijah's brows knit at once as he ushered her toward the door.
"A grown woman, and still can't look after yourself."
And so, without my agreeing to it, Elijah's car filled up with three people again.
It used to be me who started the conversations, who smoothed things over between them.
Now I didn't want to say a single word.
If anything, it was the two of them who kept half-starting to speak and stopping, not daring to show what they were thinking.
At the hospital, Jeanette went off for her own examination.
Elijah stayed by my side, but he was restless, distracted.
Seeing me stay silent, he spoke first.
"Sweetheart, did you bring the real-estate contract? We can go sort it out on the way afterward. I'll take a look, make sure there aren't any traps in it."
I hesitated for a while, then took the document out after all.
I really wanted to know how Elijah would react when he discovered what he was signing was divorce papers.
But the moment his hand touched the document,
a nurse came running over.
"Is Jeanette Gomez's family here? She's fainted! She said her family was in OB-GYN!"
With a soft slap, the document dropped to the floor.
Elijah spun around without a second thought and rushed off in Jeanette's direction.
