Noah’s POV
Paris was never about Amelia. That was what I told myself. Because the truth was that I just wanted to stay away from Novalie, I needed space to rethink the big step I was about to take.
I stood on the balcony of the hotel suite, staring down at the lights of the city I once claimed I hated.
“I don’t like Paris,” I had told Novalie once.
Now I was here, with the woman I supposedly never stopped loving. My first love.
Behind me, Amelia laughed at something on her phone.
She always laughed like nothing in the world matters and nothing could scare her, like she was untouchable and very bold.
I used to love that about her.
But now! I don't know what this feeling is anymore… Her laughter creates this kind of uneasiness and it doesn't bring me peace anymore.
Instead my mind drifted to how charming Novalie's smiles were. My phone vibrated in my palm.
Novalie.
Fifty two missed calls,One message, “I’m at the hospital.”
I read it three times.
My chest tightened.
She is at the hospital.
Again.
My fingers lingered over the call button.
Then Amelia stepped beside me, her hand sliding around my arm. “Don’t tell me you’re going back,” she said softly. “You promised you wouldn’t run back to her every time she cries.”
Cries.
That word triggered something dark inside me.
The first time she had a miscarriage, I stayed in the hospital for days with her.
The second miscarriage, I canceled meetings just to be with her to care for her because I know how broken she was when we lost our first child, so I was there by her side caring for her… when I got the message that changed our lives.
“Isn't this your wife? I saw her at the Whitrad hotel a few hours ago. "A photo was attached to the message from the unknown number showing Novalie in the arms of another man.
The photo looked so real.
Making me question everything we have ever shared, doubting if the child we just lost, that I'm mourning, was even mine to begin with.
Did she intentionally abort the child to cover up her infidelity?
I had so many questions but I just couldn't bring myself to accept that my lovely wife would cheat on me.
Until Amelia messaged me for the first time in a long time, asking to see me and everything that happened afterwards made me start rethinking my decision of marrying Novalie.
The third one…
I didn’t know if I had it in me to pretend to be the supportive husband she solely desired and stand by her despite the hurt.
“She keeps losing the babies,” Amelia continued softly.
“Do you really think that’s normal, Noah?” I didn’t answer. I couldn't.
Because I had started asking myself that question months ago.
I even hired a private doctor to go through her medical report and records to see if there is any issue with Novalie that's making her have miscarriages but the doctor said the same thing as others.
“Nothing out of normal and stress can cause hormonal instability.” But he didn’t sound fully convinced.
And the doubt I saw in his eyes, triggered my actions.
And doubt, once planted, grows.
I hated myself for thinking that maybe she was cheating or didn't love me enough to have my kids.
But I couldn’t stop.
I went back inside.
Amelia looked up at me, her eyes soft.
“She drains you,” Amelia whispered. “You’ve changed since marrying her.”
I clenched my jaw.
Had I?
I remembered the day I proposed to Novalie. I never thought I would have anything to do with Amelia ever again.
Amelia had left me for Hollywood.
Novalie was stability,safety, I thought safety could become love, that Novalie would love me wholeheartedly despite knowing I was once in love with her step sister.
I was wrong.
Because love without passion becomes resentment, and passion without trust becomes obsession.
My phone rang again,Novalie calling.
I silenced it.
Because if I heard her voice while trying to make this decision of mine
I would either forgive her completely or say something I could never take back…
So I chose distance disguised as control.
Then Amelia’s phone buzzed. She smiled sheepishly then turned the screen toward me.
A picture of the both of us, I didn't even know when it was taken. Sent from Amelia’s number to Novalie.
My stomach dropped. “You sent that?” I asked sharply.
“She needs to know where her husband is,” Amelia said calmly.
Anger burned through my chest. But it wasn't directly at Amelia. I couldn't directly express the anger in me towards anyone else but Novalie.
Because in my mind, twisted and defensive as it was…If Novalie hadn’t cheated on me, If she hadn’t kept losing pregnancies… If she had even told me about the guy she met before experiencing the second miscarriage
I wouldn’t be here doubting everything.
That was how I survived the guilt of what I wanted to do, by turning it into blame.
When I returned back to the city, I didn’t go to the hospital, instead I went straight to my lawyer.
“Prepare divorce papers,” I told him with every atom of courage I had left in me.
I didn't choose the divorce route because I didn’t care. But because I was afraid of loving someone I didn’t trust.
If the miscarriages were caused by her actions, If I was being lied to, I needed to protect myself before I destroyed both of us.
Back at the house, when Novalie mentioned the baby, something ugly surfaced inside me.
Fear.
Guilt.
And rage at my own helplessness, So I attacked first.
Because distance felt safer than honesty. I couldn't bring myself to ask her for the truth because hearing it from her would shatter me more than anything.
Cruelty is protection when you are terrified of losing control, That was my weakness, And my greatest sin.
But when Novalie signed the divorce papers without putting up any form of fight, Something inside me cracked.
Because I had expected her to beg, to cry or even fight a little for me! For us.
But she didn’t.
She just accepted it.
And that hurt more than anything she had ever done.
