I stumbled through the torrential rain for two hours. With every step, the water inside my shoes soaked in deeper, icy and piercing.
By the time I finally reached the hospital, I was drenched as if I had been pulled straight out of the water, barely able to speak.
The nurse looked at me, her expression darkening instantly. “Your mother… has been waiting for you.”
When I rushed into the ward, my mother was already so weak that even opening her eyes took effort.
She lifted her hand, trembling as it reached for me.
“Mom… I’m here… I came…”
I held her hand. The cold, damp chill pressed into my palms, stealing my voice.
She only forced a faint smile, using the last of her strength to gently squeeze my hand once.
The next second, her hand slipped away.
The heart monitor let out a long, straight tone.
The world fell terrifyingly silent.
I collapsed to my knees, crying until my chest tore apart, but no matter how I screamed, she could no longer hear me.
I thought nothing could be more devastating than losing my mother.
But what truly crushed me came afterward, when I saw that post.
“I just said I wanted a little cake, and he dropped everything to buy it for me. Love or no love is really that obvious.”
Below it was a photo.
In the picture, Cassian was half crouched in front of her, one hand braced on his knee, the other carefully wiping the cream from the corner of her lips.
His movements were gentle, as if he were touching something precious.
That man, so obsessed with cleanliness that he hesitated for three seconds before holding my hand, looked at her as if his gaze were melted with light.
As if the whole world held only her.
Less than a minute after the photo was posted, she sent me a private message.
“Thank you for always making room for me.”
In that instant, something inside me shattered completely.
So completely that even pain disappeared, leaving only emptiness.
I stood up in a daze. The harsh white lights of the ward stabbed at my eyes.
The last trace of my mother’s cold lingered in my palm, yet she was already gone forever.
I tried to lift my hand to wipe away my tears, but I could not move it.
A sudden wave of dizziness hit me.
“No… Mom…”
My voice was weak, as if it had been crushed inside my chest before being forced out.
The next second, my vision went black, and my body collapsed straight onto the cold floor.
The world lost all sound.
When I woke up again, the sharp smell of disinfectant filled my nose.
The ceiling slowly spun above me, as if someone wanted me to clearly see that nothing here could be undone.
I tried to move, but a nurse gently pressed me down. “Don’t move. You just woke up.”
A doctor walked in holding my chart, his brow tightly furrowed.
“You didn’t know you were pregnant before?”
I froze. My mind felt like it had been doused in ice water, instantly blank.
“W… what did you say?” My voice trembled, barely recognizable as my own.
The doctor sighed softly. “About five weeks pregnant.”
Five weeks.
I closed my eyes. It felt like a sharp blade twisted violently in my chest.
That was… the last cold intimacy between Cassian and me.
I never even had the chance to feel the joy of becoming a mother. I never got to tell anyone. I had not even accepted it myself, before it was sentenced to death.
The doctor’s tone grew heavier. “Your emotions fluctuated too severely. Your body was already exhausted, and you were exposed to the rain for too long. The baby couldn’t be saved.”
“You have… miscarried again.”
Again.
That word struck like a bolt of lightning from the void, tearing my soul to pieces.
