The cell phone kept ringing, making me really fed up. However, this time it was a call number with the name "Jess" which I deliberately kept that way so as not to arouse suspicion from Sebastian.
"Mrs. Elara Clarke. This is Jason."
"Yes, I understand," I replied.
"You know that tonight the plan will be executed. Are you ready? If you change your mind, we completely understand," someone's voice from behind the call.
"There's no need to back out again. I will prepare everything related to me," I replied in a confident tone.
"Okay then, ma'am. We look forward to hearing from you."
"Very well," I said with a firm nod.
Just as the call was disconnected, the door to the house opened. Ethan was home from school, where he would usually whine about being dropped off at the office. I didn't see Sebastian. That's a sign that Ethan came home on the school bus.
"Mom..."
Ethan stood in the doorway. His round eyes sparkle, unlike his usual hateful ones with his little hand clutching a flower he seems to have picked at school.
"This is for you," he said with a smile and stepped inside, coming closer and handing over the flower. "Today, I want to play with you, Mom."
At first glance, I saw a shadow of the past. The Ethan who used to cling to me warmly and spoiled.
However, the wounds were too deep. And now, I could no longer pretend as if everything was fine.
I sighed slowly with a calm face. "I'm not feeling well, Ethan. You can play by yourself, or have your father pick you up and take you to his office as usual,"
Ethan just fell silent. "But, I want to play with Mom today," he said pleadingly.
"Ethan, you have to understand. I'm sick and need to rest," I said, trying to give my son some understanding.
I didn't know if this was a sincere request, or just a plan they had made.
Ethan looked down disappointed, but I was indifferent. Not trying to break the ice, not even hugging as usual. He stepped inside his room, probably going to play by himself or call his father after my rejection.
---
Tonight, Sebastian talked to Ethan about meeting an old friend. And, the boy insisted on coming along. I couldn't even tell the lies from the truth anymore. Sebastian said that he deliberately did not bring me along with the reason, Ethan said that I was sick this afternoon.
In fact, I know that Sebastian took Ethan away with Bianca, attending a special event made by the Ballerina team. It was not in vain that I put someone to investigate Sebastian's every move.
"We're leaving first, baby," Sebastian said as he smoothed the collar of his shirt, his face beaming like he was about to attend a victory party.
"Bye, Mom!" Ethan waved his little arms excitedly, jumping up and down happily by the door.
I'm the one standing in the doorway, wearing an ivory-white sweater and the biggest smile I can muster tonight. "Be careful on the road," I reply with a wave.
I deliberately gave a warm gaze with a calm voice, as if I were a wife who was just going to rest tonight. My heartbeat is racing fast.
"Don't wait for us. We'll be home late," Sebastian says, putting his arm around Ethan's shoulders and ready to step towards the car waiting in front of the house.
I nodded slowly, not letting go of the smile on my face. "I'm going to bed early. You guys have fun."
The two of them walked off, slowly moving away from me. Sebastian only gave me a quick wave, while Ethan didn't even look back. Though this afternoon he looked like my favorite Ethan.
When the sound of their footsteps became faint, I immediately closed the door. My face instantly changed. The smile vanished, I took a deep breath and walked towards the kitchen, staring at the stove, the gas pipe, and the small remote I had just taken out of my pocket.
It was instantly quiet. Too quiet this time.
I went out the back door, following the planned path. At the end of the alley, a black car with tinted glass was waiting for me. Jason sat in the driver's seat.
"Are you ready?" he asked.
I nodded.
The car drove slowly away from the house. A few minutes later, a loud bang was heard from behind. The car's mirrors reflected a fiery orange light. Smoke began to billow high in the night sky.
Jason continued to drive calmly. I turned my head toward the house that was slowly being consumed by the flames. In the distance, I could see two figures running hurriedly out of the car they had just gotten into, Sebastian and Ethan.
I saw them screaming in panic in front of the house that was starting to see a crowd of people. Ethan was crying loudly, the sound reaching me even from this far away.
A fire truck passed by from the opposite direction. We passed each other at a bend in the road. Jason kept his focus forward, while I just stared straight out the window coldly, silently, and blankly.
Inwardly, I muttered under my breath, "Goodbye, my old life."
The car continued to drive, taking me away from the hell I had left behind. No one would know if I was still alive until the time came.
