I've felt this before. This heart-racing, breath-stopping, body-numbing sensation. The moment where your world has been ripped out from under your feet and you're suddenly falling, knowing there's nothing at the bottom to catch you. Save you. Only last time it was because I found out my mother had died. This time because I think a piece of me just died.
All I can do is blink at my father, who merely watches me with a stoic expression. No humour to show me he's joking. No pain to show me he regrets this. It's like I don't even know who he is.
"What?" I whisper, giving him the opportunity to take his words back.
"You are to be wed by the end of the month," he repeats instead. The cracks inside of me deepen. This is real. "You are of age, and you've prolonged this for far too long. It is time to step up and take responsibility."
"But...you always said I didn't have to—"
"When you turned eighteen, Veronica. That was six years ago. You are a grown woman now and more than ready to be a wife. Surely you understand your place in this family."
My place in this family? "What are you saying? You make it sound like my marriage has some part to play in your business."
His blue eyes soften, completely identical to mine. "Yes. You see? You are a smart girl, principessa. Please understand."
"Understand what? And why did you say I have to be married by the end of the month? You didn't...you didn't already pick someone, did you?"
He presses his lips together, and that is answer enough. My heart sinks before he even starts talking.
"I did. He is...he will keep you safe. Watch after you as a husband should for his wife. Marrying him will be very good for the family. It's a union of sorts, all for the sake of peace."
"Just say it." It takes everything in me to not yell. He's walking on eggshells, which means this is worse than he's letting on, and I want to crawl out of my skin from the anxiety.
"It's Clemente Marino."
A noise crawls out of my throat before I can stop it. Something shocked and broken, like a cry but not quite. At least Father has the decency to flinch at my reaction. That means some part of him is still sane even though this is anything but.
"What?" I croak. "The man you threw in jail for killing his own mother?"
"He didn't do it. He was framed, and the mafia has opened an investigation to clear his name."
"And you honestly believe that? The mafia have said horrible things about him and his brother! They're ruthless. He's lying about his innocence."
"He's not. He has evidence, and it's my duty to prove it because I wrongfully convicted him."
"So that's it." I sound as disbelieving as I feel. "You make a mistake, and now I have to pay for it just to save your ass."
"Watch your language, Veronica," Father snaps. "We have a good relationship, but you are not to disrespect me."
"And you don't think that goes both ways? You're throwing me into the hands of a killer by force! Where is your respect?"
"Enough. This is a business decision. The Marinos and Gabriels will form a union as an act of peace. In return they will not start a war between our families and cause chaos in the mafia."
"That's not fair! What could a man like Clemente Marino possibly gain from marrying me?"
"Don't be ridiculous. You are the daughter of the consigliere. This will be a fast and effective way for him to redeem his status."
A laugh tears out of me that's borderline hysterical. "Are you kidding me? You're going to chain me into a life with him just for the sake of his reputation? You're choosing him over your own daughter."
"No." He slams a palm on his desk hard enough to shake it. "This is for your own good. You don't understand, but I am protecting you. I am choosing you."
I stand up from my seat, too enraged to just sit here and take it. "He murdered his own mother. And if by some miracle he didn't, there are plenty of other things he's done. Bad, awful things. I'm not going to marry a man like—"
"A man like me?" Father finishes. The study grows quiet for a moment. "He is a Made Man. All Made Men have done awful things. Clemente Marino is no different from any other man in the mafia, any other man you would have married anyway. But what makes him the best choice is he can protect you. We don't know what will come of this union, but he can keep you safe, and that's all I care about."
"Keep me safe from what? You said yourself that you'll clear his name, and this is all in the name of peace. What's going to happen?"
Father's lips pinch. We never talk about his personal matters, not just because I don't like hearing about them but also because he doesn't like being asked questions he can't answer. "This is business. That's all I can tell you."
"Considering it's my life you're signing off, I deserve more than that."
"Enough, Veronica! Do not talk to me about what you deserve. I gave you freedom beyond any woman's comprehension in this world, things they could only dream of. I have given you absolutely everything, and now I only want to protect you. You will do this, and that's final."
I can hear the resolution in his voice. He won't back down from this, and there's nothing I can do. He won't hurt me if I go against his word, but the rest of the mafia would, especially because going against this union would only mean war between Familias. No mere girl is worth a war, so they would simply kill me. I'm not stupid enough to think I'd be safe if I tried to fight my way out of this.
"Please." I'm ashamed of how small I sound. How defeated. My legs give out on me, and I slump back into my chair, hugging my arms around my waist. "Please, Father. I'll get married. Anyone except Clemente Marino. You can pick anyone for me, and I'll meet them and wed them. I promise."
