BROKEN VOWS:- FALLING FOR MY MARRIAGE COUNSELOR

LILLIAN CALLOWAY 

   "I want a divorce."

   The words left my mouth before I had the chance to rehearse them. Before I had the chance to think about how it would change everything for me once he agreed.

   Joe didn't even look up. Typical. I could be screaming or drowning, and he'd still be looking at that dem laptop. 

   "I want a divorce," I said again, louder this time.

   He doesn't blink. Doesn't move a muscle. Five years together. Two forgotten birthdays. Two missed 

anniversaries. A marriage dying in silence. 

   It hurts that he won't look me in the eyes, but I've gotten used to that. 

   The only thing moving between us was the ticking clock above our bed as I stood there like a statue, impatiently waiting for a response while the clock kept ticking. 

   Tick. Tock. Tick. 

   Finally, 

   "Now's not a good time, Lillian. I have an important meeting I need to prepare for in the next fifteen minutes."

   I blinked. "Did you hear what I just said?"

   He sighed, still scrolling. "We can talk tonight, but now's not the best time."

   "No," I said, louder now. "We won't."

   That got his attention.

   Joe set his laptop down slowly, like a precious little child he didn't want to break. "This again?"

   I folded my arms, knuckles white. "There is no 'again.' I'm not bluffing."

   His eyes searched mine. Not panicking. Not even angry. Just... blank. To be honest, I don't know what to make of his expressions anymore. It's like I never really knew him, and it hurts.

   "You're serious."

   I clenched my teeth together. Hard. The fact that he thinks I was joking is far beyond me. He's so self-absorbed and ridiculous. "I am."

   He stood up, buttoning his shirt with calculated ease. "We've had rough patches before-"

   "This isn't a rough patch. This is years. You stopped loving me a long time ago-that's if you ever did," I whispered those last few words to myself. "You just don't have the guts to say it. So here I am, helping you out."

   He flinched just barely. "And this is your way of punishing me? By walking out?"

   "No. This is me finally choosing myself, choosing my

happiness." I begged. "I am tired, Joe, I feel drained. Can't you see?"

   A muscle thickened in his jaw. "No. The only thing I see is you being selfish. You don't care about how your need for a divorce is going to hurt everyone around us?" He growled. "What do you want? Money? A new private apartment?"

   I laughed. "Jesus. You always think everything is about transactions."

   He doesn't respond. He just kept looking at me like I was crazy. 

   I continued. "All I'm asking for is a divorce. You're also not happy, plus you wouldn't have to feel tied down to me. Please Joe. Just say Yes."

   "Have you thought about how this stupid decision of yours would affect our families and my reputation? I  guess not. You're just being greedy right now."

   His words immediately took me aback. Maybe he's right. Maybe I'm being selfish. I never thought about how my father would react if he found out about this. He'll be very disappointed in me. I can't let that happen.

   Joe didn't wait for another word from me, already knowing he had struck the final nail in the coffin. "I won't be signing any stupid divorce papers." He mocked. "And I'll get a marriage counselor to help you see that." 

   My nails bit into my palms. I couldn't hear anything past the roaring sound echoing in my ears.

   He stormed out of the room, leaving me with the heavy weight of his words-"

   There's no out for me. 

   *~*~*~*~*~*~*

   "So... you finally did it."

   I leaned back in my seat, letting my gaze roam over Vivian's long, natural blond hair. My bestie always looks put together. 

   She came to see me at the office immediately after I texted. She never wastes time when it comes to me, no matter how busy she was.

   She handed me a glass of white wine to take me off the edge. "You did the right thing, Lily. After five years of emotionally ghosting you, the man finally gets served."

   I forced a smile. My hands are still trembling, and my thoughts are still spiraling from this morning with Joe.

   She raised a brow. "And?"

   Sometimes I forget how well Vivian knows me. Three years of friendship, and  she reads me better than the man I married. And that shouldn't hurt. But it does. 

   Or maybe it's because, I always knew Joe never really loved me and would never love me, but deep down, a part of me still believes in him. Believed in us growing close as the days went by. He only sees me as a deal and nothing more, and that's what hurts me more. 

   I took a deep breath, knowing she wasn't going to let me off the hook if I don't speak. "He said no to signing the papers and suggested counseling."

   Her eyes grew wide as she covered her mouth. "What the fuck, Lillian. So you're just going to let him hurt you?" She cried out.

   "Vivian, can we not? Not today, please." As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. "I'm sorry. I'm just tired of people expecting more from me," I sighed.

   "I get it. But you're not telling me why you keep letting him hurt you. Lillian, I've seen you vanish away for the past fucking years, and I care about you. So please talk to me."

   My face immediately grew hot and red.

   "It's my dad. You know how he is. I can't fail him. He'll get mad at me if this marriage is over," I said in a tight voice. "Ever since Sierra said no and disappeared, the pressure has always been put on me. So as much as I would love to get a divorce, I'll settle for counseling."

   I lifted my gaze to meet hers, and I could see the thousands of questions flooding through her mind. Questions I want answers to. 

    "Lillian-"

   "Can we talk about something else?"

   She looked at me for a long second. Pity was written all over her face. I hate pity. It reminds me of how weak I've become, and I hate it.

   "Have you started your designs for the upcoming fashion week?"

   My face immediately beams with a wide smile. I love it when I get asked about my designs. 

   "Yes, actually, I'm halfway through. Currently sketching new designs to add."

   Relief washed over Vivian's face. "And you have your best friend who is one of the greatest runway models walking on your stage," she winks at me with a smirk. 

   A call from Vivian's phone interrupts us as she excuses herself to answer.

   "Hey Lily, work is calling. I have to be at the studio in the next hour, but it's about to rain, so I have to head back right now. I'll see you soon." She kissed me on my cheeks and left. 

   It was raining when I finally finished my sketches and headed downstairs. I stood at the lobby waiting for the valet to bring my car when my phone buzzed in my purse. 

   I wanted to ignore it, but it might be from Joe. I quickly retrieved my phone and clicked on the message box. I froze in my spot, my face turning pale as I saw who the text came from.

   My stepmom. 

   Who only messages once a year. 

   Patricia: There will be an important dinner at the house on Saturday night. You and Joe are to be present. Your dad has an important guest coming over. 

   An important guest? 

   Who could be so important for my dad to hold a second dinner party?