We were standing at the boarding gate for our honeymoon in Bali when Noel Stephens turned to me and said,
"Babe, everyone's given us their blessing. The honeymoon, though, I'm going to have to skip."
I froze. "What do you mean?"
He smiled, slid the wedding band off his ring finger, and placed it in my palm.
"I've got a little songbird that needs tending. Promised I'd go keep her company."
"Marrying you already put her at a disadvantage. You get the title of Mrs. Stephens, she gets me. Seems fair."
A high-pitched ringing filled my skull. I bit down on my lip until I tasted blood. "How long has this been going on?"
His voice carried just the right note of apology, almost boyish. "Six months. You've got that temper of yours, so I didn't dare bring it up."
"You know I've wanted to marry you since we were kids running around in split-crotch pants. But no man can love just one woman his whole life."
"If you feel wronged, we can each do our own thing. Seeing you upset hurts me too."
The wedding band in my palm still caught the light, gleaming pure white.
The pregnancy test folded inside my pocket burned like a brand.
I smiled through tears and nodded at him.
"You're right. I shouldn't make myself suffer."
……
Noel blinked, stunned for two seconds, then grinned and ruffled my hair.
Relief washed over his face, the kind you see on someone who just dodged a bullet.
"Good to see you've come around. With that temper of yours, I was honestly worried you'd go after Florence Perry."
"Oh, by the way, where'd you put your wedding dress? Last night I was a little rough with her and her nails snagged the lace lining. She's been feeling bad about it, wants to mend it for you."
It was like a hand had closed around my throat. A wave of cold crept up from the soles of my feet and spread through every inch of me.
He didn't seem to notice. He just smiled that apologetic smile of his and continued,
"She cried and begged me to let her try on the dress. Said she wanted to feel what it was like to marry me, just once. You're both women. You understand, right?"
I stared at the careless look in his eyes.
Three hours ago. That was all it had been. Three hours since I had walked down the aisle in that dress, the dress now stained with my husband and his mistress's lust dressed up as marital bliss, leaning on my best friend's arm as she handed me off to the man standing in front of me.
A tide of nausea surged up my throat.
The ring cut into my palm. My whole body shook with a pain I couldn't contain.
He took off his coat and draped it over my shoulders, wrapping an arm around me, his voice low and soothing. "Why are you shaking? Mrs. Stephens will always be you."
Those dark, languid eyes of Noel Stephens,
still brimming with devotion so thick it looked real.
As if the man who had just casually confessed to sleeping with another woman for months, tangled up with her in my wedding dress, were someone else entirely.
The sheer absurdity of it tore through me,
and I couldn't breathe.
He let out a helpless sigh.
"I know this doesn't sit well with you. But the girl has no title, no status, and she still chooses to stay with me. She's even gracious enough not to fight you for the Mrs. Stephens name. If I don't spend a little more time with her after all that, what kind of man would I be?"
"Florence isn't like other women. She's innocent, she's principled. If she didn't love me, she'd never agree to be someone's kept secret. She's lowered herself this far for my sake. I can't let her down. You've got a temper, sure, but you've always been reasonable. You get where I'm coming from, right?"
Love?
I nearly laughed myself to tears.
I loved him too.
I had a temper, yes, but around him I turned soft as water, bending myself small, making myself less, always less.
I was reasonable, yes, but I'd gone to war with paparazzi over a single tabloid rumor about him, badgered elders I respected into clearing his name.
My love he treated like air. Another woman's love he held like treasure.
I curled my frozen fingers inward, closed my eyes, and let the bitter smile settle on my lips.
"If you love each other that much, let's get a divorce."
Noel blinked, then let out a short laugh. "I just complimented you on keeping your cool, and now you're throwing a fit again?"
"You've been with me since you were eighteen. You've lost two pregnancies because of me. Walk away, and tell me, what man out there would want you?"
