In the hospital, Xie Rongyu sat by the bedside, his fingers absentmindedly tracing the edge of the medical chart.
"Why do you insist on doing this?" he began, his voice calm and unwavering.
"Is this your way of crying out for help?"
I watched the slight furrow of his brow, a look as if he were regarding a child who didn't understand.
"Mingwei's situation is different from yours, " he continued, his tone carrying a weary patience.
"After losing her memory, I'm the only one left in her world."
"Mingwei and I grew up together. Her parents are abroad and rarely have time for her, so she's always considered me her only family."
He paused, his gaze falling on my bandaged wrist. "And now, she doesn't recognize anyone but me... "
"After the car accident, she only remembers me... "
His fingers absentmindedly traced the IV tube, though his eyes were fixed on the window.
"The psychologist says... this shows she's feeling very vulnerable... "
After speaking, he looked at me, his brow furrowed.
I saw the same expression, a mix of helplessness and fatigue.
"There is really nothing between us like you imagine, " he went on, his tone slightly urgent. "She's like a sister to me. Do you understand?"
"You know, " he looked at me, his expression indifferent, "you know she's a patient.
Why do you still compete with her?"
He looked at me and sighed.
"Please, stop being upset, okay?
You will always be my wife. That will never change."
His fingers lightly brushed my hair, then quickly withdrew.
"When Mingwei recovers, I'll make it up to you.
We'll go on that honeymoon we missed, okay?"
I looked at the tips of his ears turning slightly red, a small gesture he only makes when lying.
"Now... " his voice softened, "can you... be a little more understanding?"
His eyes held a hint of pleading.
"She really needs me right now... just for this period, okay?"
I listened quietly to Xie Rongyu's explanation, my gaze blankly fixed on the ceiling.
Each word felt distant yet unavoidably drilled into my ears.
"Okay, " I replied softly, my voice dry and unrecognizable even to myself.
The numbness brought by severe depression left me without the energy for anger.
He asked me to wait, to be patient, to understand...
His words felt weightless and insubstantial, unable to move me a bit.
I watched his eyes constantly flicker to his phone, his feet unconsciously moving toward the door.
Suddenly, it all seemed so ridiculous.
Three years, and he always used the same excuses, and I foolishly believed them every time.
"Go, " I said, my voice so calm it surprised even me.
The relief on Xie Rongyu's face pierced through my already numbed nerves.
He quickly walked to the bedside, wanting to touch my hair, but I instinctively turned my head away.
"You... " He paused, then gave a resigned smile, "Don't take it to heart. I'll be back soon."
I watched his back as he left, listening to the instant tenderness in his voice as he answered the phone. Suddenly, I realized:
I was already emotionally numb, perished with each choice he made.
It died with each of Xue Mingwei's flaunts, died in my own foolish expectations.
The sound of the hospital room door closing was soft, yet it felt like a lock, forever separating him and me into two worlds.
I slowly closed my eyes, allowing the darkness to swallow the last glimmer of light.
