The customs officer barely glanced at my passport before stamping it. I hadn't brought much back with me from Zurich—just an overnight bag and the hollow ache that had become my constant companion. My fingers found the small, worn stuffed rabbit in my coat pocket, its fur matted from countless tears and desperate clutches. Lily's favorite. The only thing I'd managed to salvage from the clinic where I'd lost her.
The taxi ride from JFK blurred past in a haze of gray highways and rain-slicked streets. I rehearsed the words in my head, over and over, like a broken record. *She's gone. Our daughter is gone. Hold me.* I needed those arms around me, needed Douglas's steady heartbeat against my cheek. I needed him to make this nightmare feel less real.
Our penthouse doorman's face fell when he saw me. 'Mrs. Burke,' he said softly, his eyes dropping to the rabbit peeking from my pocket. He knew. Somehow, everyone knew. I managed a nod and stepped into the elevator, my reflection in its mirrored walls a ghost of the woman who had left for Switzerland months ago, full of hope and determination to save our little girl.
The elevator chimed softly as it reached the top floor. I expected silence, perhaps the dim glow of a single lamp if Douglas was waiting up. Instead, a wave of music and laughter spilled into the hallway, so loud it seemed to vibrate through the floor beneath my feet.
I stepped into our home and froze.
Balloons in blues and silvers bobbed against the ceiling. Caterers in crisp white uniforms wove between guests, carrying trays of champagne flutes. A three-tiered cake sat on our dining table, its blue fondant gleaming under crystal chandeliers. The number '1' was written in elegant script on the top tier.
And there, in the center of it all, stood Douglas. My husband. His dark hair was perfectly styled, his smile wide and genuine as he lifted a chubby, dark-haired baby boy above his head. The child giggled, reaching for Douglas's face with pudgy hands.
'Make a wish, my little prince!' Douglas's voice carried across the room, warm and proud.
Beside him, Magnolia laughed—my best friend, radiant in a silk dress that hugged her curves, her hand resting possessively on Douglas's arm. Her eyes met mine across the room, and for just a moment, something flickered there. Not guilt. Not surprise. Satisfaction.
My overnight bag slipped from my numb fingers, hitting the marble floor with a dull thud. The sound was swallowed by the music, but somehow, it felt deafening.
Hours later, I stood in our bedroom, the door closed against the party that continued without us. 'This is insane,' I said, my voice barely above a whisper. 'Our daughter just died, and you're throwing a birthday party?'
Douglas loosened his tie, his movements casual, unhurried. 'It's just a party, Raina. Don't make this into something it's not.'
'Into something it's not?' My voice cracked. 'What is this, then? Who is that child?'
'Magnolia's son,' he said flatly. 'Her ex's kid. She needed help today, and I offered to host. It's nothing.'
'Nothing?' I stepped closer, searching his face for any sign of the man I'd married. 'You didn't think to call me? To tell me you were having a party the day I come home from burying our daughter?'
His eyes hardened. 'You're overreacting. This isn't about us. Magnolia needed—'
'I want a divorce.' The words tumbled out before I could stop them.
Douglas's laugh was sharp, dismissive. 'Don't be ridiculous. You're upset, you're tired. Take a shower, sleep it off.' He turned away, already dismissing me. 'We'll talk tomorrow.'
I didn't sleep. While Douglas rejoined the party, I sat at his desk, staring at his laptop. The screen's glow cast harsh shadows across my face as I opened it, not sure what I was looking for. Something. Anything. Some explanation for how my life had become this nightmare.
My fingers hovered over the keyboard, then began to move.
