The journal said: "Her mother didn't make it. She lost her mind."
And then, on a night of pounding rain, she jumped from the twenty-eighth floor.
The journal ended with this: "She's dead. We're finally free. And yet, somehow, we feel she didn't deserve to die that way."
I stared at the screen, tears dropping onto the back of my hand.
"Auntie, why are you crying again? Are you okay?"
The little boy watched me, worried.
I wiped at my eyes with the back of my hand and forced a smile.
"It's nothing. Auntie just got some dust in her eyes."
I drew a slow breath and asked him, "When are your mom and dad coming home?"
He answered sweetly, "Daddy went to pick up the custom necklace he's giving Mommy. He'll be back soon. Mommy's having a baby sister, and the doctor said she can't move around much, so she's been resting in her room."
Pregnant.
A family of four. Happy. Whole.
Living their fairy-tale life on the bones of mine.
I held myself still against the shaking that went through every part of me.
"Sweetie, when your dad gets back, could you use this phone to call Auntie? I want to surprise him."
The boy agreed at once. "Okay!"
I smiled at him and ended the call.
The instant the screen went dark, the door opened.
My mother came in carrying a thermos, her eyes still red.
My mother, alive, with both legs, both arms whole.
I lunged at her and held on with everything I had, and the sobs broke out of me.
She thought I was still grieving over Simon's death.
She patted my back, soothing me over and over. "Lia, let it out. The dead don't come back. You have to look forward now."
I buried my face in her shoulder, my tears soaking into her clothes.
"Mom, I'm never going to love him again."
I swore it to myself.
This time, I would not let anyone hurt my family. Not anyone.
After she left, I dried my eyes and picked up my phone.
I dialed Rachel.
Three rings, then she answered.
Her lazy voice drifted down the line.
"Hello? Lia. What's the occasion, calling me?"
"Rach, Simon's gone. I'm a little scared, being on my own."
She gave a soft laugh.
"Oh, Lia, I might not be able to come back for a while. I forgot to tell you, I just married my first love. We literally just signed the papers."
She launched into it, showing off.
"He's so good to me. He'll do anything I ask."
When she'd finished gloating, she put on a comforting tone.
"Fel, don't be too sad either. Honestly, Simon wasn't that great. He was cold and selfish, that man. Better he died early, so he wouldn't drag your whole life down with him."
I listened to her spit poison over his name.
It was almost funny.
"Is that so?" I asked, cold.
"Who exactly is this first love of yours? Where are you two right now?"
Her voice locked up, as if she hadn't expected me to push.
She stumbled over it. "Just... someone you don't know."
That was when I caught something off on the other end of the line.
"What are you doing?" My grip tightened on the phone.
"Nothing... nothing." Her voice went suddenly soft.
Then a man's voice, one I knew far too well, came through the speaker.
"Rach, you're not paying attention. You need to be punished."
It was Simon.
The cold went straight through me, and my stomach turned over.
Rachel said quickly, "Lia, I'll come see you in a couple of days. I have to go!"
Just before the call cut off in a rush, I heard it clearly on her end. The sound of waves. And gulls crying over them.
